Welcome to the jarring world of anxiety,
The world of fear, what ifs and instability
Where no moment is ever yours to hold
“You can’t do it” is what you’re told.
Anxiety is the monster in my brain
It fights for sovereignty over my terrain
Day after day, night after night
It won’t give up without a fight.
A fight that has cost me dear,
Because anxiety won’t let anyone near
The walls it has built for me are too high
To get to me, well, why would you even try?
A shape shifter this monster is
Sometimes a thick heavy mist is what it fits
My mind and my heart in its fold
No moment, no memory is free from its hold.
Sometimes, strong black ropes it wraps around me
Tightly binding me so I can never be free,
“Stay with me,” it gently says
I obey, and watch my dreams waste away.
Anxiety is possessive, you see,
It wants me and only me
It has for me a world created
A world where I am always hated.
It weaves around me a spell,
A world where no one wishes me well
Where I am no more than a fleeting thought
As relevant as an ugly moth.
Sometimes, anxiety becomes me.
It tells me, “This is who you will always be.”
It whispers that it will never leave
This is a lie I almost always believe.
It tells me, “I am you, you are me.
That’s all the world can see.
Broken, flawed and alone you are,
Stop the fight, give up the war.”
But anxiety, I won’t let you win,
Even when you wear me thin.
Bruised, broken and alone I will still stand,
Fight to protect my own land.
Image via Thinkstock.
A socially awkward introvert pursuing her Masters in Psychology who chooses to love life and live on. I have been living with anxiety for as long as I can remember and battle episodes of depression quite frequently. God, books, music and craft are what keep me afloat.
anikajoseph