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How I Explain My Anxiety to My Loved Ones

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Dear loved ones,

I am so sorry for being such a pain sometimes. I know I can be frustrating at times and you just can’t figure out why I am like this. Well I can tell you I don’t even know the answer to this. I guess that’s just how I am wired.

My only hope is my constant complaining and breakdowns don’t ward you off from me because that’s when I need you the most and I don’t want to feel like a burden because it makes it much worse.

I wrote a list to break it down to you to have a glimpse of what it feels like to be me:

  • It’s worrying about millions of things in a millisecond.
  • It’s overthinking anything and everything.
  • It’s when everything around you seems to be so overwhelmingly fast-paced and you just can’t keep up so you shut down from the world in hopes it would slow it down, but it doesn’t.
  • It’s when you constantly need reassurance those you love still care about you because even you sometimes doubt you can love yourself.
  • It’s when taking a “chill pill” was never an option.
  • It’s always being too afraid people will think all you want is attention while all you really want is redemption.
  • It’s when you’re afraid of now, yesterday and tomorrow.
  • It’s when you’re afraid of drowning in sorrow.
  • It’s hating to live like this but you just don’t have a clue how to stop it.
  • It’s when you get told to “let it go,” but you just can’t.
  • It’s living with a mind that thinks for its own and you don’t have a say in it.
  • It’s when sleeping is #goals.

I hope this helps you understand.

Follow this journey on My Online Journal.

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Image via Thinkstock

Originally published: February 16, 2017
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