How I Explain My Anxiety to My Loved Ones

Dear loved ones,

I am so sorry for being such a pain sometimes. I know I can be frustrating at times and you just can’t figure out why I am like this. Well I can tell you I don’t even know the answer to this. I guess that’s just how I am wired.

My only hope is my constant complaining and breakdowns don’t ward you off from me because that’s when I need you the most and I don’t want to feel like a burden because it makes it much worse.

I wrote a list to break it down to you to have a glimpse of what it feels like to be me:

It’s worrying about millions of things in a millisecond.
It’s overthinking anything and everything.
It’s when everything around you seems to be so overwhelmingly fast-paced and you just can’t keep up so you shut down from the world in hopes it would slow it down, but it doesn’t.
It’s when you constantly need reassurance those you love still care about you because even you sometimes doubt you can love yourself.
It’s when taking a “chill pill” was never an option.
It’s always being too afraid people will think all you want is attention while all you really want is redemption.
It’s when you’re afraid of now, yesterday and tomorrow.
It’s when you’re afraid of drowning in sorrow.
It’s hating to live like this but you just don’t have a clue how to stop it.
It’s when you get told to “let it go,” but you just can’t.
It’s living with a mind that thinks for its own and you don’t have a say in it.
It’s when sleeping is #goals.

I hope this helps you understand.

Follow this journey on My Online Journal.

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