How Seeing the Humor in My Anxiety and Depression Helped My Recovery
I remember the first time my therapist laughed at something I said. Her eyes got wide and she quickly told me she wasn’t laughing at me, just the situation I was telling her about. She then said something that was more profound than I realized at the time.
Funny is funny.
Before I continue, let me make it clear that I was OK with her laughing at the situation. I had been seeing her long enough to trust her. I knew she wasn’t laughing at me. I honestly can’t remember what the situation was, but no doubt it was some absurd situation my anxiety twisted into a disaster.
As time went on, I began to see some humor in my anxiety and depression. I started feeling better about laughing during therapy. Before then, I thought it had to be serious all the time. After all, I was paying good money to figure my life out!
I thought my therapist’s office was no place for laughter. However, I began to see there is healing in laughter. I recently had an epiphany in my car and I sent this in an email to my therapist.
“Funny is funny” moment. I took my medication before going into the coffee shop. I felt guilty and thought to myself, “Man, you take these things like drugs.” Then I remembered that it is a drug. So I got a good chuckle out of that.
In that moment, the guilt I felt about taking medication for anxiety left me. I still have moments when I feel guilty about it, but now I have a funny memory I can use to combat the guilt. I have come to enjoy the “funny is funny” phrase. In fact, it’s one of my favorite mantras.
Don’t misunderstand me, mental illness is a serious thing, but sometimes you just need to laugh at your own mental illness. For me, it makes a moment of bad anxiety less intense. It allows me to step back and see my anxiety is lying to me. In those moments, I have hope that my anxiety won’t destroy me. I appreciate the serious times in therapy, but I also appreciate the moments we laugh. I now know both can bring healing.
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Thinkstock photo via MistakeAnn.
Rachel is a social worker in Athens, GA. She is a full time therapist for underserved youth with mental illness and behavior disorders. She received her MSW in May 2019 from the University of Georgia and received her LMSW in July 2019. Her plans are to get her LCSW and specialize in anxiety disorders. Rachel has been diagnosed with OCD, depression and PTSD. She wants to share her stories to help others and advocate for better mental health treatment. She hopes to see better mental health awareness, more preventative measures and, affordable quality treatment.
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