If Anxiety Is 'Winning' Today, a Woman Who's Been There Has a Message for You

Television journalist and blogger Kristen Hewitt knows what it feels like to “lose” to anxiety. In an honest Facebook post, she described what these bad days were like for her, emphasizing that while we “show our best on social media,” it doesn’t tell the whole story.

“Today anxiety brought me to my knees in tears that wouldn’t stop for hours. Today anxiety had me hiding in my room, afraid for my kids to see me so upset. Today anxiety made me believe I wasn’t good enough,” she wrote.

Many people with anxiety can relate to having days like this, and we’ve asked our mental health community before to share what they do on days anxiety is winning. Here were some of their suggestions:

“I say hello to the anxiety (in my head of course), give it the name of someone annoying and invite it along on my day because I have things I need to do. Sometimes it works, some times it doesn’t.” — Kimmie R.

“I listen to music and try to focus on just the music and nothing else. Sometimes if I am able to, I lay down in complete silence or with my music and just lay there concentrating on my breathing.” — Jade C.

“Meditate. I always thought it was one of those cheesy ideas people gave that would ‘cure anxiety,’ but it really has helped me. I generally use YouTube for guided meditations, they help force you to clear your mind and just focus on the words guiding you.” — Rachel H.

“I never fight it — I try to determine what’s causing it. Negative self-talk? Fear of speaking my mind? Too much stress? Then I remind myself that although the physical manifestations and symptoms are very frightening, they cannot hurt me. I will not have a heart attack or stroke. Of all the things I’ve learned about my anxiety, I believe that has been the most comforting.” — Kelly L.

“I do whatever my mind and body wants. If it wants to sleep, I sleep. If I want that hamburger, I eat it. On the days anxiety is winning, it is easier to not argue with yourself about the small things. Tomorrow will be better and you will be better. So, you can fight with yourself tomorrow.” — Shelby D.

When anxiety has taken over your day, you should remember you’re not the only going through it — and that the racing thoughts, physical pain or hopelessness you’re feeling won’t last forever. As Hewitt wrote: “This is real life. It’s messy, it’s hard, it sometimes is too much to handle, but even at its worst it’s still beautiful. My hope in sharing this is to let anyone who may suffer from depression or anxiety, or some other illness know — you are not alone. You are not broken.”

You can read her entire post below:

Today has been a rough day. I’ve been feeling well lately, taking care of myself, and been relatively calm. But today anxiety won.

Today anxiety told me I couldn’t leave my kids to go on vacation with my husband because the plane might crash.

Today anxiety brought me to my knees in tears that wouldn’t stop for hours.

Today anxiety had me hiding in my room, afraid for my kids to see me so upset.

Today anxiety made me believe I wasn’t good enough.

Since suffering from a traumatic birth, PTSD, perimenopause, and postpartum anxiety disorder I’ve never talked about this emotion. I was afraid others would think I was weak. I was afraid people would know I’m broken.

But I’m not, just a little banged up.

Just as it came in a monstrous wave taking over my being, it’s once again gone. An emotion fueled by my thoughts. And it’s time for us all talk about this.

Women – we change after having kids. Sometimes it’s depression, sometimes anxiety, sometimes both. But we need to confide in others and get help. Process what’s happening. Find the root and try to heal.

Sometimes I feel better meditating, or writing. And like today I just needed to be held, to be reminded I wasn’t alone. I needed to journal and remember to find my own divine light and love that’s always inside.

What we see on TV, the internet, the news, it’s not real. Every person you know has something. We show our best on social media, carefully curating the content we want the world to see. Hoping not to soil our “reputations”.

But this is real life. It’s messy, it’s hard, it sometimes is too much to handle, but even at its worst it’s still beautiful.

My hope in sharing this is to let anyone who may suffer from depression or anxiety, or some other illness know – you are not alone. You are not broken. You are LOVE.

And so am I.