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Finding the Positives in Having Social Anxiety

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I can count the number of close friends I have on one hand.

I cannot, however, count how many times I have had a panic attack when put into a new group setting.

I am great at one-on-one conversations.

But when it comes to speaking in front of people I scream inside.

I have coped with being legally blind my whole life, but the social anxiety is a new struggle. In my head I know I do not need anyone’s approval, but I want people to like me. I want to like myself on the days I am overcome with self pity. Every day I deal with insecurities but try to put on a happy face. I’ve found it’s important to note my struggles and figure out how to push myself to the line past my comfort zone. There are good days and bad days.

While “normal” people feel the respect of quiet stares while talking in front of people, I feel pressure building up and a heart wishing to escape my chest.

I always call someone while walking alone.

I am quiet because I worry people will judge me if I talk, not because I am stuck-up.

Going to parties takes all my energy.

I feel overwhelmed in crowded places, like I am suffocating.

I repeat words in my head over and over before I ever say them.

I want to hang out with you, but sometimes it is hard.

I crave familiarity. Going to new places makes me nervous

Realizing these struggles does not make me or anyone else feeling this way weak; it reveals our strengths. Remember to see the light in the dark.

I care about people wholeheartedly.

I invest in what friendships I have long term.

I communicate more effectively on paper than orally.

I am good at talking to people who are by themselves.

I do not have to worry about getting into trouble at parties.

I think before I speak.

You can always count on me to be where I say I will be.

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Originally published: May 10, 2016
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