The Unending Cycle of Anxiety: A Prose Poem
Dealing with anxiety is never easy and it can be a chore to deal with every day of your life. I write poetry to help get out my emotions and help me deal with my anxiety. I wrote this poem — which I posted to my Tumblr account — about anxiety and how it can be an unending cycle, that is difficult but not impossible to break.
Anxiety is an unexplainable thing. It’s a feeling, one we all have inside of us. It starts off as a normal feeling, perfectly fine. Then it builds, makes you start to have new fears you never had before, and over time it takes a bit of you.
You think you’re completely fine even though your mind is racing at 100 mph. You start to sweat all over as your body learns the feeling of dread. You try to fight it, but that only makes it grow stronger. You start to shake for no reason, people become monsters; even the ones who you know truly love you.
Then, just when everything feels fine again, that’s when everything comes to a head. You fall apart, everything falls apart and it leaves you to pick up the pieces of yourself, then start the cycle all over again.
Your mind races, your thoughts get worse and soon you lose control, just like before. You feel like a mess, you feel like a monster and you feel like it won’t ever get better. The words you wish you could say are right there on your tongue but no matter how you phrase them in your head they don’t seem right. The only words you can muster are “I’m sorry,” because they’re the only words your brain can find.
It makes you feel like you are watching your world crumble into ruins and there is truly nothing you can do about it.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to win. It doesn’t have to rule you, you can rule it. All you have to do is take a tiny step, just one, in the right direction and soon you’ll find you truly can break the cycle. It never is hopeless; all it takes is one step of courage and bravery to walk into the light.
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Thinkstock photo via patronestaff
Someone who deals with mental illness and at the same time trying to figure out who she is. I write my experience and hope someone finds a part of themselves in my story or appreciates my journey.
rachael-coassolo