30 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Partners to Know

If you live with anxiety, sometimes it’s difficult to understand your own everyday battles — and even more challenging to then explain these to your significant others. That doesn’t mean people with anxiety can’t try to communicate how or what they’re feeling. And it doesn’t mean their significant others can’t do something to help.

We asked our Mighty readers who live with anxiety what they want their partners to know:

Here’s what they had to say:

1. “When I’m anxious and snappy and hiding in bed, join me and put your arms around me instead of avoiding me. Sometimes it’s all I need. To be held together when I can’t hold myself together.” — Michelle Hatfield Prestriedge

2. “Anxiety is like a rabbit hole, the deeper I get, the stranger things become.” — Morgan Victoria

3. “When we argue, and I tell you I need a minute, give it to me. It’s not that I don’t want to resolve the issue, or that I don’t care about your opinion, it’s that I’m about to fall off the cliff and neither of us wants that.” — Heather Polum

4. “If I’m having a panic or anxiety attack, ask me what I need from you.” — Anna Moore

5. “Please know this is not the real me. When I’m having an episode, it’s like a parasite living within me, feeding off my worst fears. I don’t know why these things happen but you being here with me is the only light at the end of this spinning tunnel.” — Terri Brown

6. “I’m not overreacting… I can’t control it.” — Mayte Garcia

7. “When I run away, let me be. Give me a few minutes. Then come tell me it’s all OK. Tell me my world is not falling apart, let me know it was just a rough few minutes. Tell me you love me and I am important.” — Jasmine Connolly

8. “Sometimes all it takes is a touch of a hand to calm the biggest storms.” — Jeremiah Swing

9. “Don’t rush me to stop being anxious. If I could speed up the process, I would.” — Michaela David

10. “Sometimes all I need is reassurance that I’m not constantly bothering you or that you do actually want my company.” — Jessica Cotton

11. “When I get anxious, don’t take it personal or get defensive thinking it’s because of something you did. It’s not.” — Becky Hone

12. “When I retreat ‘inside my head’ please don’t take offense that I don’t want to tell you what I’m thinking. Most of the time it’s actually a blank screen up there and I’m not thinking of anything. Literally. I’m just recharging.” — Samantha Frei

13. “I know sometimes my fears don’t make sense, but it’s real for me.” — Summer Ivie

14. “Just because I have anxiety doesn’t mean I never have a real reason to be upset about something.” — Robin Levin Konen

15. “I often feel ashamed of my anxieties and depression and will keep them from you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t like feeling weak and helpless in front of you.” — Nicole Howard

16. “I don’t need you to try to ‘fix’ me. If I have an anxiety attack, I often just need to let it run its course.” — Emma King

17. “I still love you, and I know this will pass eventually. Just give it time and remember I’m still me.” — Maddy McCandless

18. “If I have trouble getting things done it isn’t because I am unmotivated or lazy or making excuses.” — Megan Kulchar

19. “I’ll probably try to convince you to leave, but that’s really the last thing I need or want. Don’t leave, stay and hug me.” — Kallie Boothe

20. “Don’t take it personal. Getting upset with me will only make the anxiety worse. Just listen and be there. I’ll come around.” — Angel Deidloff

21. “Please don’t get mad at me if I get anxious over something you might deem as nothing. I can’t help it, and I’m trying my best.” — Taylor Nicole

22. “You need to reassure me you still love me because my mind will make me think the worst.” — Jessica Matthews

23. “I know I’m not being myself, but that doesn’t mean I can just switch it off.” — Robyn Murphy

24. “Sit with me and talk with me. More so listen to me. Hold me like you will never let me go.” — Debi Justice Fletcher

25. “Please stay no matter how hard I push away. Be my anchor in the midst of an oceanic storm.” — JT Gentry

26. “When I say I don’t want to talk about it, don’t drop the subject. Ask what you can do to help.” — Amy Waguespack

27. “You don’t have to agree with the reason I’m anxious, but please don’t down play it.” — Emily Simisky

28. “No one is more frustrated with me than me.” — Danielle Pépin

29. “When I am having a panic attack, comfort me with love. Don’t scream at me to calm down and breathe.” — A Marie Bellamy

30. “Your acceptance helps me heal.” — Francesca Marie Cwynar

Editor’s note: Everyone experiences anxiety differently. These answers are based on individuals’ experiences.

What do you want your partner to know about your anxiety? Let us know in the comments below.