Why I Dream of Becoming a Clinical Psychologist
I was shaking, but I wasn’t cold. I was on my knees, and there was an unsettling sensation in my chest. I read some verses from my religion book because I knew that at that moment, this was not physical pain — this was inner pain, and those verses could help me gain inner peace. This was the day my life would change. It took a while to understand that what I went through was related to an anxiety disorder.
Ever since those symptoms occurred, I lived with it every day. It wasn’t something that had a certain end; I was living with constant panic and no apparent reason why I felt nervous. This was when things were going good, which only meant when something did not go as planned, it was going to tear me apart.
This is when I started therapy, and today, looking back at what I went through, I would say I’m proud of myself for overcoming my struggle. I can barely remember the pain and can’t imagine it happening to me again. I did research; I spent most of my days on the internet, studying anxiety disorders, people’s experiences with them and how they can influence daily life. Through this, I came across other related psychological disorders and mental illnesses.
Although I learned good techniques in handling my personal circumstances in life and overcoming my anxiety, I was interested in gaining further knowledge. I spent two years of my life researching schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, anxiety and depression.
When I found out psychology is an option in university, I did not think about looking at other options. I believed this is what I was born for; I knew it deep down. I was able to advise those around me, to spread positivity and relieve pain when I saw someone upset. I was able to help others have a positive perspective about certain aspects of their lives.
The day my psychology professors introduced themselves and talked about this field, I was almost in tears. I knew it deep down inside — these are the individuals I want to become when I’m older.
I will never forget how those of us in the psychology field can truly make a change in this world, or in someone’s world.
I once needed help. Now I am ready to help.