Since I started my new medication cocktail I have made a lot of progress. I am currently on hydroxyzine pamoate 50mg, #ariprazole 5mg , 40mg #Viibryd and 48mg #spravato. This Friday was actually the best that I have felt in the past five years. But apparently even that wasn't enough. As I was driving home I found myself having thoughts of suicide. It hasn't really stopped since then either. So I don't know what to do at this point.

It used to be that my thoughts of suicide were caused by my depression. But on Friday I felt the best I have since before the depression started. And I have tried to change my philosophical outlook on things but haven't been able to. My treatment team, friends and family all seem to be at a loss too. So I don't know what else to do.

P.S. I saw on of my providers today so I'm not in immediate danger.