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12 Signs I'm Having a 'Nothing Day' Because of My Asthma

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Another nothing day! Don’t you just fed up with the “nothing days”? I certainly do. I have far too many nothing days and they don’t add up to anything that I would wish on anyone.

These days are part and parcel of any chronic illness. There are good days, there are OK days, there are bad days, and then there are nothing days. And it just goes round and round, never ending.

That’s because my illness is “chronic.” I cycle through these different types of days, but I am never really well. Being well isn’t part of my experience any more. The best I get, is a “good day.” I won’t get better or recover from my chronic illness, severe asthma, in the way someone with a cold, recovers. Chronic illness is my new norm. It is permanent. Treatments don’t cure, they just manage it.

A “nothing” day happens one when I am just too ill to do anything. This happens whenever I am in the midst of a bad flare-up of my illness.

This is my definition of a nothing day:

1. I alternate between my recliner chair and my bed. That’s where I spend the day.

2. I cannot do anything. Can’t concentrate enough to read. Can’t watch TV, as I can’t concentrate. Can’t sew as I am shaking too much. Cant do anything because I can’t breathe well enough.

3. My plans for the day are on the scrap heap. I always have a plan A, plan B and a plan C. My plan A has been dropped, then plan B stood no chance, and eventually plan C couldn’t be considered. A nothing day is a no plan day, just a day waiting for the time to pass.

4. Time expands! The “nothing” days are so very, very long! It’s almost like time stands still or it stretches.

5. A waiting day. Just waiting for my body to return to working sufficiently to get up, move about and join in my life. Just waiting for another day to start.

6. Brain fog accompanies me! Too sick to think logically. Too ill to make sense. Distorted thinking.

7. I am completely dependent, and I need to be cared for, looked after. I cannot get through this day without help.

8. I can’t see any positives around me.

9. A day to avoid the concept ” should.” If I let “should” take hold I will get down. “Why” thoughts are equally dangerous.

10. A day to be kind to my body and let it get over the flare-up by not pushing it. If I push through, I will end up in hospital. It is a “time out” day.

11. No highlights. I can usually see something in the world that is beautiful or wonderful, something that lifts my spirits – but not on one of my “nothing days.” Today was a beautiful, sunny day and it was glorious to walk towards the beach, to be warm, to feel the breeze on my face. Simple pleasures can be a highlight in my day, but this doesn’t happen on a nothing day!

12. I have no control of them. They just happen. They are often unexpected without a gradual buildup of symptoms preceding them. This unpredictability is one source of frustration with such days.

When my chronic, severe asthma is really bad, but not bad enough to have me admitted to hospital, all day is spent on and off my nebulizer.

These nothing days don’t have very much going for them at all.

Nothing days are just another part of my reality that I have to face and accept. They are part of any chronic illness. It would be nice to not have to experience this.

I have always been an on the go person, loads of energy and drive. But, that person has sort of been consumed by chronic illness. It is one of the things I grieve for. There isn’t really any way that I can think of that can make a nothing day more pleasant. They are the way they are because there is nothing I can do except live through them and let them pass! Yes, my bed is comfortable and so is my chair…but the essence of the issue is that I’d rather not be spending my day this way.

I am not depressed, anxious or upset –  and I’m not complaining about these days. I just don’t like them very much! I find them frustrating!

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Originally published: May 14, 2018
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