My therapist, my psychiatrist, and my mom are suspecting that I am on the autism spectrum. It’s not a surprise, but now that I’m seeing my symptoms in a new light, it seems crystal clear.
But, since I last posted, things have taken a down turn. My dog has become aggressive, and has drew blood on my multiple times- luckily he’s only 3 pounds. We’re trying to find a trainer for him but with each incident, I completely lose control.
It’s not just the dog, either. My therapist is retiring and I just had my last session with him. I’d seen him for over 13 years, so that change is difficult. I have a DBT therapist right now because I will soon be starting a 14 month DBT program, so I have someone else to reach out to.
Add in new diagnosis, the pressure of taking care of the dog all by myself, not feeling guilty because I’ve been spending my own money on myself, I just... last night he bit me pretty good with his walleye like teeth. I cried so hard. I texted and called my mom, dad, and brother multiple times begging for help- but they were asleep. And this morning I woke up just stone faced and having trouble talking. I can’t think straight or explain what I’m feeling. And most importantly, I don’t know how to help myself. What do I do? Usually when this happens, we all just blamed it on my depression and I was told to get out of bed, etc. But I can’t.
My room is darkened, I have on my noise-cancelling headphones and watching a show at a low volume. But it feels like I can’t move. Any tips? Do I just let myself cry with this stoic expression until I feel better? #Autism