Yesterday's run was nearly self destructive. I was anxious and annoyed bc my husband's ex-wife decided to drop by unannounced to see my two oldest (they are biologically his and hers but as far as we are all concerned she was a surrogate and they are mine. It's a long story...). Her arrogance precedes her and it usually sends me into a tailspin bc I have to swallow my anger and annoyance and act as though she doesn't bother me.
Well, that backfired and I am notorious for doing punishing things when I'm upset...like going for a run in 100°f fu¢k!n weather in dark clothing. By the time I got home I could hardly breathe and on the verge of passing out and throwing up. But at least I wasn't thinking about his Ex or my feelings anymore. I know it's ok to use running as a form of self soothing, just NOT that way. And I kind of hate myself for it.
#Anxiety #Selfsoothing #Running #badideas