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How Do You Love Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

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How do you love with someone with bipolar disorder?

It can be hard AF.

• What is Bipolar disorder?

I struggle to love me, and I have bipolar disorder.

I’ve got friends who love me though. I asked them what makes me so appealing, and they had some surprising answers,

One of my friends told me she loves me because I’m funny, I’m creative, and I’m kind. She loves me because I genuinely want to do good in the world.

My other friend had similar answers: I’m funny, honest, and compassionate.

I was once told that even though I’m a difficult person, there’s still something innately likable about me, and well, my friends’ answers prove that’s true.

My daughter loves me because she relates to the mood swings and understands when I’m struggling.

My husband shows his love for me by being kind, compassionate, and understanding.

What does that compassion look like?

He knows I love Robert Downey, Jr, so when I’m in a funk, he’ll turn on movies with him in it. I just recently watched “Sherlock Holmes,” and snuggling my husband and enjoying the movie really helped me know I’m loved. He forces me to talk when I want nothing more than to clam up. He takes me out on dates when I want to curl up in bed and sulk. He surprises me with trips for just the two of us to help me get out of my head and to have something to look forward to.

Loving a person with bipolar disorder may not always be easy. We can be unpredictable. There’s a chance we might hurt you when we’re hurting too. I inadvertently hurt a good friend of mine with my last suicide attempt, and I see the consequences of that. But I’m still innately likable. I’m still a good person, even though I do have mood swings, even though I have rages, even though I cry and sulk.

I also delight in making people happy and serving others. And people see that about me.

I’m loved because I’m quirky.

To love a person with bipolar disorder, like anyone else, you have to be willing to be hurt, you have to take a chance, you have to be prepared to roll with the punches. But there are so many good sides to loving a person with it. We can be quite creative and can help you get your house beautified or with a DIY project you’re stuck on. We can chatter your ear off for hours, and yet we can also turn around and listen when you need someone to lean on too.

Loving someone with bipolar disorder can be scary, but the person behind the disorder is worth the effort. There are layers to a person, and peeling back the layers and starting to love someone with bipolar disorder is a beautiful thing.

Like people say, if it’s difficult, it’s usually worth it. And a friendship with someone with mental illness can be difficult, but is so worth it.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page. 

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

Stock image by Handini_Atmodiwiryo

Originally published: November 4, 2016
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