Things I Shouldn't Feel After My Cancer Diagnosis

A woman with cancer describes all the different feelings she shouldn’t be experiencing, but in reality she is.

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Things I Shouldn’t Feel After My Cancer Diagnosis

I shouldn’t know what it feels like to watch my friends die.

I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for taking a sick day.

I shouldn’t have to think “I feel ugly without hair.”

I shouldn’t have to feel like a shitty person because I am out of treatment now and my friends are not.

I shouldn’t have to be strong for my family and friends.

I shouldn’t have to know more about cancer than my oncologist.

I shouldn’t feel guilty for using the excuse, “I can’t because I have cancer.”

I shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting to explain everything to everyone.

I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m drowning just to survive.

I shouldn’t have to go bankrupt because of my cancer.

I shouldn’t have to feel like a failure because I haven’t figured out my life yet.

I shouldn’t feel jealous watching all my friends have fun without me.

I shouldn’t feel jealous of the children who have cancer and get the cool cancer perks.

I shouldn’t have to feel like I need to work twice as hard to prove myself because I have cancer.

I shouldn’t have to feel like nobody understands.

I shouldn’t have to feel

Helpless

Weak

Alone

Pathetic

Useless.

I shouldn’t feel any of these things

But I do.

Written By Ali Powers