So I would say my formative years gave me a lot of self knowledge… but it took very long, and I had for now, most of these years since I’ve become 18yo 6 years ago, going through a “healing” process for my severe depression and other mental health related issues. So every time I discover a new thing about myself it’s a mix of “oh? This is interesting” with “So that’s why!!!”

So I won’t say it’s just funny or a ray of sunshine, actually this made most of my day hell today, but I’m not feeling sad or upset by it, the hell is more in the functional sense of the entire thing.

But basically, I’m autistic, formerly diagnosed, also diagnosed with a gifted mind, but never really tested for ADHD. But recently, the past couple years, my psychologist - who’s a neurodivergent expert, even if more in the autistic sense of expertise - has been pointing out the suspicion of me also having ADHD, and we never noticing it because of the lack of information during my formative years, nowadays it’s easier to spot an AuDHD person in the wild. And I was like “nah, I don’t think so…” and meanwhile… I started treating my autism dysfunctional symptoms with CBD Oil, which is a very expensive medication, still very under studied, and to get it for free, they only allow seizure disorders on the public health pharmacies, but last year my city did an initiative to let it be distributed for other disorders that have some amount of evidence on being helpful. But all that’s good isn’t very lasting, I really react well to CBD Oil, makes my life so much more functional, but the national Association that supervises stuff like medication, let’s put it as a kind of FDA in Brazil to make it more understandable, decided that no! They can’t distribute to the disorders they want, they have to follow protocol.

So long story short, I ran out of CBD Oil and when I went to the pharmacy to get a new one, I discovered they’re not being able to give them anymore, and they are seeing if they can make that association to allow again, so until then, I’m out of CBD Oil. No problem, right? I’ve lived for many years without it!

Until today, that I had hell, a complete mental hell, I couldn’t focus on activities I usually even get annoyed by the people who keeps losing focus on the choir classes. I couldn’t stop stimming at all. And my attention span is basically Null. So what did I learn about myself today?

1. Yes, my psychologist is right, I must have ADHD too, and was just more focused because of the medication.

And

2. Those who say the evidence is still too close to the placebo testings for them to affirm that it’s beneficial for Autism and ADHD, are missing out the actual people who are benefiting from it and can affirm CBD Oil makes a difference.

How lucky, huh?