Please Remember Mother's Day Can Be Painful for Some of Us
For us who are bereaved of our children, Mother’s Day can be a very lonely and painful day. If we are dealing with infertility, we struggle with what others rejoice in and often find ourselves on the outside looking in. If one of our children is deceased and we have surviving children who wish to celebrate and honor us, we may feel torn in two. If our only child has gone before us, the “missing” is excruciatingly painful. No matter the circumstances, such a day will open Pandora’s Box of memories or the lack thereof. It is almost a no-win day.
The Sunday before Mother’s Day has been set aside by many as Bereaved Mother’s Day. I am personally somewhat split in two over such a day. On the negative side, it feels as if some simply want to “get it over with” and then move on to the “real” Mother’s Day. On the positive side, I appreciate such a day specifically set aside to honor the bereaved mom
because it acknowledges that she is still a mom.
Whatever one chooses to do on either day should be left up to the mom. It’s her day. If she desires to simply get away, please help her do so. If she desires to spend the day at the cemetery, please don’t tell her she “should” do this or that. If she simply wants to spend the day in bed under the covers, please don’t try and “fix” her. If she wants to partake in any celebrations, please rally around her and understand there may be moments in which the tears flow uncontrollably and/if she chooses to withdraw.
Please support and kindly extend love and tenderness to all moms, whether their child remains here on earth or not. Bottom line is that none of us would exist without having had a mom.
International Bereaved Mother’s Day 2018 is observed on Sunday, May 6, 2018.
Author’s note: I am the author of this piece and using it without my written permission is against copyright law. Registration# TX 8-383-134
Jude’s book, “Gifts from the Ashes,” is available at Direct Textbook. Follow this journey on Jude’s website.
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I am the Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’. Here is a Review/Summary of my book to assist: An honest and straightforward auto-biography which includes a Bereaved Mom’s personal Testimony, 183 Topics, Scriptures of Comfort, and her deceased son’s poems. It offers Hope and Redemption to others on this journey of Grief. It is approximately 370 pages with a beautiful design and internal layout. It can also be utilized in group discussions easily because of the manner in which the Topics are presented. The Author has been a Pastor’s wife, a counselor at a treatment center in a hospital, a counselor at a private clinic, has worked numerous hotlines and at shelters for the abused, sat on the board of a major city rape crisis center for 3 yrs., had designed her own program on shame-reduction which she taught at a women’s center, facilitated many groups, raised 4 natural born children along with an adopted child and a foster child, has had 4 pregnancy losses, and was barren for 7 yrs. while being told by doctors that she could not have children. It’s a remarkable story of Hope & Redemption. She became an ordained minister 2/06. She currently operates an on line informative and supportive group for bereaved parents and continues to write new topics on WordPress. This is her 1st book. She intends to publish a 2nd in the future focused on a 24 yr. abusive marriage. I highly recommend it. Articles on WordPress.com: https://wordpress.com/posts/bereavedparentsblog.wordpress.com. I am the author of all articles and using them, or any portion of them, without my written permission is against copyright law. Registration# TX 8-383-134
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