childhoodabusesurvivor

I can relate to this. That organizational control calms my mind so I can function and focus. OCD affects my daily life. Most people have no idea how busy my mind constantly is. It’s truly miserable.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Some of you know I’ve been battling pneumonia and an ear infection for almost 2 weeks now. Unfortunately, I’ve lost all hearing in one ear. I’m trying another new prescription. If it doesn’t work by Monday, I’ll have to have a procedure done where an incision is made in the eardrum. Please pray for me. I believe in the power of prayer!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Today I’m happy for the colorful leaves blowing, painting the air. Today I’m happy for giggling trick-or-treaters. Today I’m happy I’m not as ill as I was yesterday. I’m happy I slept last night. My God’s love fills me with happiness. What are you happy for? It’s not to late to find your happily ever after. 🫶🏻
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

As long as I’m still breathing, I have it in me to make changes. I can’t always change what’s happening around me, but I have the ability to change the way I respond. I may not see a castle or prince on a white horse in my future, but I know Jesus has plans for me. Plans for good! His love sustains me. I hope you never give up.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Tomorrow I’m going on a trip to Texas to see family with two of my sisters. We’ll be gone for a week. I’m driving and I’m terrified. This is a big undertaking for me, but it will mean so much for my sister to see her daughter and granddaughters. We also have a couple of brothers who live down there and numerous nieces and nephews. I’m just so scared. I’ve been trying not to think too much about it, but it’s tomorrow! I’m praying I can do this. I really try to live as though I don’t have C-PTSD, but it’s not easy.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

My hope for all of us is that we step out bravely and soar. Maybe for you it means stepping outside your house, opening up to your therapist or physician, starting a new job or class. Widening our comfort circle takes courage. We’ve got this.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Is there something in your life holding you back from being who you’re meant to be? What are some steps you can take for change to happen? Nothing is too big.
Today, I will make a conscious effort to stop shaming myself. I matter. So do you.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

It was a beautiful day today. I love the breeze that let’s me know the season is changing. I can bundle up in a sweater and crunch in the leaves on my walk. Pumpkins sit on porch steps. I see the festive Halloween decorations. Today was extra special. My granddaughter was baptized this morning. I love her so much. I thank God for her and her decision to follow Him.
I am very blessed. All of my grown children are christians, and they’re raising all 11 of my grandchildren into the church. Sometimes, we don’t get to see how our lives affect other people. I certainly wasn’t a perfect parent. I grew up severely abused and had to overcome a lot, but I made a conscious decision to prioritize my children. I told myself I would never do anything to break their spirit. God is good.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I truly don’t know which is worse, physical abuse or mental abuse. Broken bones and bruises heal, but the mind doesn’t repair as easily. I learned at a very young age to always put others wants/needs before my own. The message I constantly heard was that I don’t matter. As an adult, choices have been difficult for me. It makes sense. I had no choices as a little girl.
Since starting therapy 6 years ago, I’m gradually learning how to have a voice. It hasn’t been easy for my family to accept. In the past, I’ve always dropped everything to make myself available for them. I told myself that this is what moms do. Meanwhile, I lost myself. I became numb. This week, I told two of my adult children no to something they wanted me to do. I already have other plans. In the past, I would have dropped everything. No wasn’t in my vocabulary. It had been stripped away all those years ago.
I know it will take time for my family to adjust to the changes in me, but they were upset that I said no. I’m torn between wanting to harm myself and/or allowing myself to be angry with their responses. Becoming who I’m meant to be is just so darned hard.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Of course not one of us is perfect. Thank goodness we don’t have to be! Finding out who I am and living that is my goal. I hope you realize the real you is enough.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor