childhoodabusesurvivor

This is a picture of my granddaughter. What is a memorable Christmas present you remember getting as a child? I remember wanting a doll called ‘Dusty’. She could play tennis. I was so excited to unwrap her. The doll is long gone but the memory fills my heart. I had a lot of sadness when I was a little girl, but Christmas was the one day I was not abused. Each year, that day just went by too fast.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

This morning, I was experiencing a lot of anxiety on my drive into the city for a urology appointment. With my background of abuse, I know it’s normal to feel this way. I came very close to canceling my appointment. Then I passed a sign beside the road. It asked, ‘What have you thanked God for today?’ I then realized I needed to thank Him for that urology appointment. I’m blessed to have healthcare when I need it. I’m blessed to be able to afford it when many can’t. Suddenly, my thought process changed. A peace came over me. I made it through that appointment, no problem. Later, I checked my doctor portal to see my test results. (Keep in mind, my healthcare team works together to help keep my PTSD from rearing its ugly head.) Under notes, my urologist wrote, ‘The patient is awake, alert, and in no apparent distress. The patient is oriented with proper insight to the situation. Patient exhibits a normal mood and appropriate affect to the situation.’
I am so proud of myself. I’m especially thankful for a God who understands me and my needs. He helped me focus on the flowers, not the weeds.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Once again, I thought I could handle it all on my own. Isn’t that our way, to forget the professionals, because we don’t really need them?
Last Tuesday, I had a trigger which put me right back there as a little girl again. Every day since has been a struggle. Shame had been seeping in as I held onto that trauma memory. Finally, today I turned that memory over to the professional. My therapist. I shared that memory in full detail. Suddenly, I could breathe. The shadow dissipated. I felt free. Free of that burden which got heavier and heavier as I refused to lay it down. It was my secret. Not anymore. It can’t hurt me anymore! I feel so clean.
Will I still be triggered? Maybe. Some triggers never completely fade away. But Dr. G says we can learn to manage those. I trust him. I’ll do what I need to for healing to happen.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Christmas is a time when we especially think of others. We give gifts, just as the kings presented them to Jesus. We remind those we love of how special they are to us. This year, my wish is that you place a gift under your tree for that extra special person who sometimes gets forgotten. Yourself. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Why not give yourself some slack when you make a mistake? Praise yourself. Put you and your needs first. Jesus wants us to treat others as we treat ourselves. You matter just as much as the next person. Jesus doesn’t lie. You matter. So why not show it? I hope your gift to yourself is too big to fit under the tree! What will you unwrap just for you?
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Have you ever noticed that the longer you hold onto something, the heavier it gets? It’s also true of unresolved past trauma. Therapy works. I pray for healing for all of us.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

We never know what tomorrow might bring. Please stick around and find out. You matter so very much. Love to you all.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

He treated me terribly and embarrassed me in front of other family members. He never said he was sorry. He’s just being extra nice to me now. I don’t trust him. I never will. My guard is always up. I can’t withstand anymore hurt. God, help me remember that I matter. 🫶🏻
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I can relate to this. That organizational control calms my mind so I can function and focus. OCD affects my daily life. Most people have no idea how busy my mind constantly is. It’s truly miserable.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Some of you know I’ve been battling pneumonia and an ear infection for almost 2 weeks now. Unfortunately, I’ve lost all hearing in one ear. I’m trying another new prescription. If it doesn’t work by Monday, I’ll have to have a procedure done where an incision is made in the eardrum. Please pray for me. I believe in the power of prayer!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Today I’m happy for the colorful leaves blowing, painting the air. Today I’m happy for giggling trick-or-treaters. Today I’m happy I’m not as ill as I was yesterday. I’m happy I slept last night. My God’s love fills me with happiness. What are you happy for? It’s not to late to find your happily ever after. 🫶🏻
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor