childhoodabusesurvivor

My spouse can be a very negative person. I live with C-PTSD so I stay very attuned to the feelings of those around me. I have to for protection.
Do you ever feel a responsibility for cheering up those around you? In therapy this morning, Dr. G reminded me that I’m not responsible for the wellbeing of those adults around me. I’m not responsible for their happiness. I’m only responsible for myself. I decided that, when he goes into another rant (that has absolutely nothing to do with me), I will remove myself from the room (or the house). It’s for my own wellbeing. Oxygen mask on myself first. Always.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I saw this praying mantis on the side of my house. He seemed to look right at me. I felt this gentle reminder to pray more. I asked myself when I pray most. Is it when things are going well? When they aren’t? It’s important for me to stay in prayer as much as possible. It gives me such a sense of peace and gratitude. God is good.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I’ve been away from home so I haven’t gotten to do as much diamond art. Just finished this one tho. I hope all of you are doing well.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Today, my therapist told me he was honored to know me. He said he’s amazed that, for all I’ve been through, I love God. I tried to explain to him that God was all I had. My parents were abusers. I had no one. I was secretive. A loner. I didn’t trust people so I wouldn’t let them in. It hasn’t been always been easy to keep my faith. That’s because those were times my depression and PTSD were at their loudest. Doubt and fear are my enemies. I try to recognize them and pray for peace in the chaos. He hears me when others don’t. I matter and so do you.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I finished this diamond art. It’s a great reminder to myself to never give up. We are stronger than we realize.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I just finished this one. I’ll frame it after it dries. Doing diamond art calms my anxiety which abates my OCD.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I love going to the apple orchard. The smells of apple cider and colors of Fall make me feel as though I’m snuggled down deeply in a blanket near the fireplace. These apples are my favorite. They’re a combination of Jonathan and Golden Delicious called Jongolds. They’re excellent for pies. I know the days are shorter now here in the Midwest, but maybe that’s so we will slow down and get the rest we need. God bless. 🍏 🍎
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I posted about 6 weeks ago that I had just found out my biological father was actually my sexual abuser and not who I knew as my father. I met with 3 of my closest friends on Monday this week. They wanted to celebrate my birthday with me. I had told them I needed to talk to them about something important. I was so afraid to tell them the truth. I told them I wasn’t actually their biological cousin. I’m not Scottish, as I thought. I’m Slovenian, wherever that is. I thought they’d turn away from me. Family is everything to all 3 of them. Well, they didn’t reject me. They embraced me. I was worried I wouldn’t be invited to our yearly trip anymore. They said we are still family no matter what. I cried in relief.
A big thank you hug to all of you here who prayed for me and asked about me. It means so much. ♥️
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

There is beauty in the imperfect. You are a masterpiece.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I took this photo through the window leading out to my back deck. Two little hummingbirds were enjoying my petunias. I love watching them.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor