childhoodabusesurvivor

I made a big meal yesterday for Easter. One tradition we have is making a wish on the wishbone of the turkey. Both people make a wish and then pull on their side of the wishbone. The one who breaks off the largest part wins and their wish is supposed to come true. I started thinking about wishes. My wishes. What would I wish for? What would you wish for?
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Yesterday, I got my first tattoo. It says “Gan Stad”. It means ‘unstoppable’ in Irish Gaelic. (I’m Scot-Irish.) It was a very big step for me. God’s unstoppable! And, as long as I stick with Him, I am too!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I didn’t always believe this. It’s only in these last 5 years or so that I found it to be true. My innocence was stolen from me when I was very young. I was just 4 when the abuse started at the hands of my own mom. I quickly learned the world was a painful and untrusting place. I withdrew. I hid. I was scared, easy to tears and easy to anger. My defense. I know now that there is good in this world. God DOES care about me. Abuse is never, ever okay. But everyone is not out to harm me. There is good. There IS. I choose to believe truth.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I know a lot of people here have found journaling to be a great release for them. I simply stare at the blank page and am clueless as to what to write down. My therapist gives me homework almost every week. He pushes me. I know it’s part of my healing journey. Last week, he asked me to title what a book about my life would be called. I also had to title all of the chapters. The title came very easily to me. I came up with eleven chapter titles. It was very therapeutic and describes my road to healing. It wasn’t easy, but I did it!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I transplanted several of my plants today. They were outgrowing their environment. I just love seeing new growth, don’t you? 🪴💚
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I took this photo near my house. The countryside is so beautiful blanketed in snow.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Some days (okay, many days) can seem so tough to get through. Each one of us bears different struggles. I won’t say things like, ‘You’ve got this!’ or ‘It will get better.’ or ‘It will all work out.’ Maybe you don’t. Maybe it won’t. Not here in this imperfect world anyway. What we may have is a friend, or a family member, or a therapist to reach out to. Here at the Mighty, we get it. Share with us. Allow yourself to be lifted up. Lift up someone else. If you can read this, you can make a difference! 🫶🏻
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I took this picture of my bird feeder in the backyard. Photography sure helps me when I’m down. 💙
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

Yes, this is me when I was a little girl. I remember that day. I hated picture day at school. I had a real fear of cameras. I found that piece of yarn that very morning. I though I looked presentable when I tied it in my hair. You might notice the scratch on my chin and neck, the sores on the corners of my mouth. My abuse was very real. I didn’t trust anybody. Until 6 years ago when I met and got to know Dr. G, my neuropsychologist. And now I feel like the rug is being pulled out from underneath me. He’s decided to retire at the end of the year. I’ve told no one else. I can’t bear to. If I tell, it becomes so real. I’m terrified. I hid my secret for 55 years. Then I sustained a head injury that changed everything. I couldn’t keep my secrets any longer.
I know I’ve worked hard to get better. Anxiety, OCD, and depression have all improved. I let him hug me and I’m not afraid. (I don’t hug back. I’m not ready.) But the thought of him being permanently gone causes my OCD to go into overdrive. I will never be able to contact him again. Right now he’s on an ocean cruise, so that’s 2 weeks without therapy. I’m just scared. January is already almost over. I feel as though I’m being abandoned. Like I’m not good enough. I’m afraid.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

I heard this woodpecker from a quarter of a mile away before I even saw it. With all the snow, it was practically silent all around. All I could hear was ice melting and the knock of the woodpecker echoing.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor