childhoodabusesurvivor

How often do you get outdoors? Fresh air really does something for me. I love the sounds of the birds and the wind in the trees. Anything seems possible. 💛
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

Sundays are not my favorite. The day seems to drag on. Then I remembered my trip to the aquarium last week. I took this photo of the jellyfish. They looked so relaxed and carefree. I wished to be like them. Maybe I need Sundays to remind me to slow down. Maybe floating along occasionally isn’t such a bad idea.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

I’m sorry I haven’t been here much. My brother got sick and passed away last Thursday. The memories have been overwhelming.
Some of you know that my mom was one of my abusers. I hadn’t seen her in over a year. With funeral planning, I’ve had to be around her. It’s not easy.
It’s really hard when your parent is the offender. I feel torn between obligation to my mom and anger over what she did to me. Then I get angry at myself for being angry with her. She just lost her son.
I know she didn’t respect me, but I find it hard not to be respectful to her.
I miss my brother. He was such a good guy. I wish I’d had the mom I needed. So many memories…
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

It’s a windy and rainy day today. I feel Spring in the air. I hope you have a beautiful day today. I love you. 💌 💐
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

My therapist took a whole month off. (I usually see him 3 times a week.) When he returns, he’ll cut back to seeing clients only 3 days a week. I’ll still go in twice a week. I’m also down with Covid this week but am definitely now on the upside. My adult coloring books have come in handy.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

My therapist wanted to have a ‘family meeting’. His plan was to have one once a month to get my family more involved in what I’m dealing with and how they can help. They haven’t been at all supportive and don’t want to know anything about what I’m going through. The meeting went terribly. I wasn’t surprised but it still hurt. I knew it was going to take a bad turn when my son-in-law had the nerve to ask my therapist if I should be present during the meeting. My oldest daughter asked for my therapists phone number in case she wanted to talk to him about me. WTH!
That was the first and LAST family meeting I will have. I also forbid my therapist to ever speak to any of them about my issues/treatment. If he does, I’ll report him.
I am not crazy. For the first time in my life, I’m protecting myself. My family doesn’t want to help me. They want to talk about me to each other. It hurts. I have ZERO trust right now. I don’t even know what to pray for. The loneliness is very real. From now on, I’ll bottle it all inside before I’ll ever breathe a word to my ‘family’ about what I’m going through. The pain…
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to taper off of my antidepressants and OCD meds. The side effects were hampering therapy. I didn’t tell my doctor I was going off of them. I just did it on my own. I know, I know. Always consult with your doctor first. I read up as much as I could on how to do it. I haven’t had any brain zaps, but the headaches, nausea, and dizziness have been constant. I know it will get better. It’s just really hard right now, and I have no support. Thanks for listening.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

I love giving out my homemade hot cocoa mix at Christmastime. Is there something homemade that is special to you that you love to give or receive?
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

What’s the best gift you ever found under the Christmas tree? 🎁
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

I used gel pens on this picture. Coloring calms my thoughts.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia