childhoodabusesurvivor

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What Was a Favorite Toy You Remember?

I got out all of my Barbies. I keep them in a tub in the back of the closet. I did their hair and dressed them all up. It’s very cathartic for me. When I was a little girl living with abuse/neglect, the few Barbies I owned were my escape. A friend down the street had a bunch of them. I could play with them for hours. I was careful to make sure each one was properly dressed. Playing Barbies was safe.
Is there a favorite toy you remember most? What was it?
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

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Love Yourself First❣️

This Valentine’s Day I’m going to love myself first. I will buy myself flowers and chocolates. I’ll take a bubble bath surrounded by candles and treat myself with the care I deserve. I hope you’ll do the same. Happy Valentine’s Day!
P.S. I made the cookies myself!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

25 reactions 11 comments
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‘I Am the Snow’ A Haiku

The snow is silent
Beauty incredibly loud
Screaming to be heard
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

30 reactions 16 comments
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Do You Ever Make Excuses?

This will probably sound terrible of me, no matter how I word it. I apologize.
I suffer from C-PTSD which also brings with it depression, anxiety, and social isolation. I take medication, which helps, but it doesn’t remove all of the symptoms.
I have a terrible fear of deep relationships. Fear of not being enough. I’ve denigrated relationships because of it. Truth is, sometimes I just can’t do people. It’s overload. Many times, I just want to be in the safety of my own home. When that happens, I’ve made excuses, not answered the phone, anything to keep from simply saying ‘no’. Isn’t that terrible?
I don’t want to wear C-PTSD on my sleeve. But it’s also not an excuse. It’s so very real.
Saying ‘no’ is something I’m really striving to work on. Dr. G says it’s a great way to advocate for myself. He says I matter. It’s time to let myself and others know I do. It’s just so hard!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#SuicideSurvivor

132 reactions 35 comments
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White Christmas

This is the first year of my life that I’ve experienced a white Christmas. I don’t mean snow. I can remember the abuse as young as age 4. I called it ‘the black’. The black was always there, whether in the forefront or lurking over my shoulder. On Christmas Day, the black was still there among the presents and tinsel. It never took a holiday. Even when the abuse ended when I was 16, the black stayed. I’ve been working really hard in therapy these last 5 years. And, I can finally say that this year on Christmas, the black was gone. I enjoyed the day without fear. No darkness threatening me. My abuser died last month. Did she take the black with her?
I am so thankful for therapy. So thankful for my Mighty family.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor

44 reactions 14 comments
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Special Gifts

What’s the most memorable Christmas present you have ever received?
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#Supraventiculartachycardia

47 reactions 22 comments
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Christmas Goodies

It’s time to make my annual Christmas candy. Do you make anything special for the holidays? Please share recipes/photos!
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

23 reactions 13 comments
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Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you found something to be thankful for today. Maybe you spent time with loved ones. Or maybe you enjoyed quiet time alone. Have a place to sleep tonight? Food to eat? You are so blessed. Pain level high? Depression all-consuming? Please share here and I promise to pray for you. Happy Thanksgiving. 😘
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

47 reactions 16 comments
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More Than a Thank You

Monday was my mom’s funeral. I reached out for help and so many of you stepped up with comfort and love. Your words soothed and healed and uplifted me. Your prayers kept my anxiety at bay. You didn’t have to, but you wrapped me up in your arms and held on. I thank God for you. My therapist was out of the office, but you were there for me. I know you understand pain from trauma. I won’t forget you. You passed your strength onto me. I’m so grateful. Much love.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

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A Rough Couple of Weeks

Two weeks ago, my spouse went into the hospital for a serious infection. Days after his release, he was returned to the hospital in an ambulance with excessive bleeding. He actually lost two-thirds of his blood. I stayed with him to communicate with hospital staff. I kept it together on the outside. On the inside, it was all so overwhelming and triggering. Several times, I had to cover my ears and hum for a minute just to shut it all out. I know it wasn’t about me. I don’t mean to sound selfish. I just wish I’d had someone there for me. I try not to wear the label of PTSD, but sometimes I can’t keep it hidden. Sometimes, I just need a hug that doesn’t let go. Someone to remind me that I matter. It was scary, feeling so alone. Yet, I stayed by his side and took care of his needs. Even when he wasn’t easy to be around. PTSD is hard.
#childhoodabusesurvivor
#christian
#cptsd
#gad
#i’mhealing
#incestsurvivor
#majordepressivedisorder
#mentalabuse
#mentalhealth
#ocd
#rapesurvivors
#selfharmrecovery
#suicidesurvivor
#supraventiculartachycardia

48 reactions 17 comments