The Bizarre Story Behind My Upcoming Performance at a Cabaret Club in New York
“I’m performing a show about my life next week!” “Oh yeah? What’s it about?” “Uh…there’s a discount code? Uh…[panics] watch my TEDx Talk? [hands out postcard, runs in other direction]”
I’ve been having the hardest time trying to explain exactly what I’ll be singing about at New York’s most famous supper club on June 30th. Oh, and why I have Kathie Lee Gifford and NBC’s Today Show to thank for it. Oh…and why I chose a venue with the finest dining in the city to sing about what it’s like to be denied even a single drop of water for six years. Oh…and why critics are calling a show with my surgeon’s operating notes read on a voiceover “hilarious?”
Am I bizarre for bringing a musical called “Gutless & Grateful” to Feinstein’s/54 Below this month? A cabaret club most famous for award-winning, Broadway entertainment? Is anyone going to even want to buy a ticket with a story that may be…”hard to digest?” or…”make your stomach turn?” (Sorry, too much?) Maybe that’s why I’m offering a special discount this time – just in case I’ve lost it completely.
When I tell people my “stomach exploded,” they don’t really know what to make of it.
But apparently, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb did. Six years ago, I was thrilled; I never thought I’d be featured on the “Today” show.
As a teen, I was merely thrilled to get my very first college acceptance letter. I couldn’t believe I had gotten into the musical theatre program at the University of Michigan. All my life, I had dreamed of pursuing a career in theatre, on Broadway, in every musical possible – and this was my golden ticket. I didn’t realize in two weeks my world would drastically change forever.
It was the night of our family Passover Seder – a favorite holiday of mine. As always, there were 30 joyous and over-stuffed friends and family surrounding us. As always, we told the Passover story with our mouths full of laughter, song, brisket and kugel. As always, I felt snuggly embraced by the love and warmth of the people in my life and the safety of a time-honored family tradition. And then I felt something I had never experienced before.
Just a Stomachache
A simple stomach ache that escalated into excruciating pain, never ceasing and only growing worse for two entire days. As the pain grew more and more intense, my father drove me to the emergency room for a routine X-ray, although my physician reassured us it was only gas. On the way to the hospital (as my mother has told me), my cheeks suddenly puffed up like a chipmunk, and I collapsed as soon as I tried to get out of the car. Then I don’t remember anything else but the physical sensations of awful pain. All I remember is gradually waking up about six months later.
Waking Up Without a Stomach
I awoke as a newborn does, discovering sensations around her for the first time. Lying flat in a hospital bed, I only had a view of the ceiling for my first weeks coming out of a coma. I reoriented myself with the world of sound, sight and those I loved, who were all waiting for me when I awoke. Unable to talk, sit up or control my trembling hands, a doctor – who seemed to know me very well at this point – explained as gently as he could what happened to me.
Apparently, my stomach exploded due to an unforeseen blood clot. So much pressure had built up inside of me that my stomach actually burst to the ceiling in the operating room. Both of my lungs collapsed, I needed 122 units of blood and I was even read my last rites. I had no stomach. I couldn’t eat or drink, and the doctor didn’t know when or if I would ever be able to again. What do you say to that?
I asked why this happened to my family, to my doctors and to myself. Why was I blessed with such luck and blessings my entire life, only to become a helpless victim of circumstances?
Wait, Seriously? Why Me?
Then I rethought that word – victim. What makes a victim? Certainly, I had control over my own mindset, my passions, my thoughts and my dreams. That was my turning point. I stopped asking, “Why me?” and started asking myself, “Why not?” You can call it bad luck that I spent six of the past 10 years unable to eat or drink. Being quite crafty as an artist and performer, I decided to make my own luck. My life was too full to suddenly resign to being a “patient” or a “victim” for the rest of my life.
“Only Healthy People Can ____”
Although my mother – and everyone else – questioned whether it was too soon to mount three of my own art shows, star in musicals, teach nursery school, learn karate, start my own chocolate business and remain as vital internally as I once felt on the inside and outside, I went past my fear and nerves. I took a risk based on the passion I still felt in my heart.
Eight years after my coma, I was finally headed towards a life of medical stability. I learned through experience that things can heal with time, and that it’s not always the prettiest or easiest way. It was an extremely difficult journey, trying to make sense of the bizarre story I was now the lead character in. My story was apparently something the “Today” show was extremely interested in. My anatomical circumstances landed me on Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb’s lovable hour of chat on NBC, and all at once, I was out there in the world.
Kathie Lee Gifford and David Friedman wrote a beautiful song for me called “Still Alive,” an upbeat, joyful testament to my positive attitude throughout 27 surgeries.
The Sick Girl Gets to Be a Role Model?
I received hundreds of emails and friend requests all at once. Suddenly, everyone wanted to know more about the “girl whose stomach exploded.” How did I survive without a stomach? How did I sustain myself if I couldn’t eat or drink for years? Had this ever happened to anyone before? No, it hadn’t. It was that bizarre. But as bizarre as my story was, could I show them the person behind the “medical miracle?” “Still Alive” became the final song of my one-woman musical, “Gutless & Grateful.” I lost my stomach but gained a story. And now I’m taking my show across the country, inspiring others with the bizarre reality that anything is possible with a bit of resilience.
As much as I love being bizarre, I do wish my life were more normal at times. I still think about my old life and the feeling that anything was possible. But everything and anything became possible once I was willing to wander from my teenage fantasies and take on this new life on proudly. I can’t be 18 again, but, lucky for me, I can be the best 30 I can. This isn’t the path I planned for myself, but does anyone’s life ever work out exactly how they plan it?
When Life’s Crazy Enough to Sing About
My stomach exploded. My world changed in an instant. My life took a detour as all lives do. So I made the best of it, and now I have my detour to thank for all the gifts in my life. I’m gutless, but I am oh so grateful. Grateful to be who I am. And honestly? There’s nothing bizarre about that. OK. A little bizarre. But isn’t that what we love about theatre? Well…that’s up to you to decide, of course. Come to 54 Below on June 30th and decide for yourself.
I’ll be singing and dancing in the same red dress I’ve worn for six years, with an open wound that will probably never heal, oh, and wrapped in more gauze, tape and bandages than a mummy. My life is far from perfect.But I’m doing what I love. And hopefully you’ll love it too. See ya in the club, New York. You bring the ticket, I’ll bring the bizarre.
Amy is offering a special discount code for readers, AMY35, when you buy tickets online. Catch Gutless & Grateful at New York’s Feinstein’s/54 Below on June 30th, 2017. Oestreicher is currently touring the country with her musical, “Gutless & Grateful,” which was inspired by her appearance on the “Today” show. You can learn more about the musical here, bring it to your area or see where she’ll be next.
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Amy Oestreicher is a PTSD peer-to-peer specialist, artist, author, writer for The Huffington Post, speaker for TEDx and RAINN, health advocate, award-winning actress, and playwright. As a survivor and “thriver” of nearly 30 surgeries, a coma, sexual abuse, organ failure, and a decade of medical trauma, Amy has been challenged with moments of extreme difficulty. But, as an artist, actress, college student, and overall lover of life, Amy eagerly shares the lessons learned from trauma and has brought out the stories that unite us all through her writing, mixed media art, performance and inspirational speaking. Amy has headlined international conferences on women’s leadership, entrepreneurship, mental health, disability, creativity, art therapy, and domestic violence prevention. She is a regular lifestyle, wellness, and arts contributor for over 70 notable online and print publications, and and her story has appeared on NBC’s TODAY, CBS, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen Magazine, Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, MSNBC, among others. She has devised workshops for the Transformative Language Arts Network National Conference, the Eating Recovery Foundation, the 40th Anniversary New England Educational Opportunity Association Milestones Conference, the Annual National Mental Health America Conference, and others, and was this year’s keynote speaker for the Hawaii Pacific Rim International Conference on Diversity and Disability. To celebrate her own “beautiful detour”, Amy created the #LoveMyDetour campaign, to help others cope in the face of unexpected events. To creatively engage others in improving mental health , Amy developed a program combining mental health advocacy, sexual assault awareness, PTSD education and Broadway Theatre for college campuses, organizations and conferences, launching a Detourist Network, and Detourist Workshops to creatively fight stigma in society. “Detourism” is also the subject of her TEDx Talk and upcoming book, My Beautiful Detour, available December 2017. As the 2014 Eastern Regional Recipient of Convatec’s Great Comebacks Award and WEGO Health 2016 “Health Activist Hero,” Amy is a passionate voice in the ostomy community, founding the online community Fearless Ostomates, speaking for National and Regional WOCN conferences, and writing for the official print publication of the UOAA. Her presentations on alternative medicine, and patient advocacy and healthcare have also been accepted to international conferences on patient care, internal medicine, medical trauma and therapeutic humor in healthcare. As a playwright, Amy has received awards and accolades for engaging her audiences in dynamic conversation on trauma’s effects on society, including Women Around Town’s “Women to Celebrate 2014, BroadwayWorld Best Theatre Debut, and Bistro Awards New York Top Pick. Amy has written, directed and starred in a one-woman musical about her life, Gutless & Grateful, touring theatres, schools, festivals, conventions and organizations since it’s 2012 New York debut. Her original, full-length drama, Imprints, exploring the effects of trauma on the family and the healing power of creativity, was a finalist at Manhattan Repertory Theatre, and is currently in development for a full New York production. Amy’s collaboration with Beechwood Arts on “Resilience and the Power of the Human Spirit”, has traveled around the world, using her monologues, art, writing and recipes to express the life-altering detours and ultimately the invaluable gifts of her resilient journey. She is also a passionate arts advocate, a successful mixed media visual artist, a continuing education studio arts teacher, and an active member of the League of Professional Theatre Women, League for Advancement of New England Storytellers, Fairfield County Cultural Alliance, Theatre Artist Workshop, and several art guilds throughout Connecticut and New York. Amy is currently touring the country with her one-woman musical, Gutless & Grateful, her keynote presentations, workshops and signature talkbacks, which she has devised specialized versions for corporations, college campuses, survivors, healthcare professionals, and artists. She is leading mixed media creativity workshops to promote creativity as a mindset, an essential survival skill. Amy also offers creative coaching and consulting services help others navigate their own “life detours,” and prides herself most on ending each night with a gratitude list. Together, we’re stronger.
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