The Only Question That Matters for a Bachelor With a Chronic Illness
Will you take my hand and travel with me on my journey? I will join you hand in hand on your journey, but I know mine is far more intimidating. I don’t expect you to jump in, but if you do, you have to answer my question first: Do you want to?
There are no guarantees for anyone in life, but what I know is my journey will get hard at times, and what I am may never live up to what you might of thought of as a husband. I hope I am better than anyone else at understanding you and loving you, but I will never be the man you wanted. Do you still want to join me?
I don’t want you to be super human. I only want you to be prepared for the rough roads will be ahead. When? I don’t know. I have fought hard to get where I am, and with you by my side, I know I will fight a thousand times harder, but that is only if you can stay by me. Do you still want to travel with me?
I will love you with everything I have and will be everything I can be for you. I will work every day to make you feel special. But there will be days and maybe months when the best I can do may not feel like enough for you. This is your chance to run for the hills — if you do, don’t look back — or you can turn around and grab my hand and join me on my journey.
I will be by your side no matter what happens, but I am asking you to put yourself in a vulnerable situation. I know that, and unfortunately, I can’t do anything about it. But I am going to be selfish for a moment — I want you to travel with me. I want you to hold my hand when I’m feeling bad, I want you to be there when times get tough and I want to celebrate everything that is beautiful about you and life.
I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you. I don’t want to focus on what holds me down. I want to focus on what sets me free, and that is you. But I am a realist, and I know that nothing will be as simple as we would like, and I know that you will see me in more pain than you want. I will be there for you when your journey gets hard, no matter how hard, but mine most certainly will get hard.
Do you still want to take my hand and travel with me on my journey? Because I would love for you to. That is why I am asking.
The Mighty is asking the following: What is a part of your or a loved one’s disease, disability or mental illness that no one is aware of? Why is it time to start talking about it? If you’d like to participate, please check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.
Lead photo source: Thinkstock Images
Joe was born with a congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. He required his first open-heart surgery at 54 hours old and suffered a stroke after surgery. He has now had four open-heart surgeries, the last two days before his 30th birthday. He has struggled with anxiety & PTSD for most of his life and believes a strong mind and building a team with a roster full of supporters is the key to successfully living with a chronic illness. He is a Board Certified Patient Advocate for families, children, and adults with congenital heart disease—helping them to navigate the emotions, diagnoses, and challenges they face in finding and understanding appropriate CHD care.
joe-valente