To My Husband on Father’s Day: What Blue Means to Me as a Person With Chronic Illnesses

I have always loved the color blue and all of its hues. It is endless skies and vast rolling oceans. It is beautiful, comforting and a part of me. It inhabits my wardrobe, it inhabits my dreams. It is the color of my December birthstone. It is a constant companion.

I don’t ever associate it with being down. I don’t ever use it to describe my feelings about my many chronic illnesses. Blue is infinite possibilities and the color of hope. It is what I love.

It is you.

I remember when you got down on your knee to ask me to marry you under an American sycamore tree. We were young, optimistic and surrounded by blue skies.

I remember when, only months later, we said our wedding vows under an azure winter sky surrounded by the beauty of Lake George. We rode wild horses, we hiked, we made many plans.

Our daughter’s nursery was blue and yellow, full of moons and stars and many happy memories. The dark blue starry sky painted on her ceiling reflected the starlight in my eyes as I looked at her and dreamed of our life together.

After many miscarriages, we brought home our newborn son covered in soft baby blue blankets. I held him and rocked him to sleep as I was overwhelmed with the blue hue of happiness.

You brought all of these wonderful things into my life just by walking into it. You interrupted my dark nightmares and made me see the serene skies in the distance.

Though the clouds of chronic illness constantly hover, you help me to remember that blue skies will always return.

You make our precious children so happy, and they are so lucky to be able to call you Dad. Their childhood memories will be full of silly stories, carnival rides, long nights, fireflies, endless walks and cerulean skies.

You are the glue that holds our family together. You are the father every child wishes for.

Each person is made up of many different colors. Each color reflects a different part of themselves. Each color reacts to different situations. Each color reflects the rainbow that exists inside of all of us.

I’m glad you are mostly made of blue.

Like a magnificent ocean, you surround us with waves of strength, and you push us towards a life that flows with hope, calmness and clear sapphire streams.

You are our blue, and we will love you for as long as our blue eyes can see.

Happy Father’s Day!

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