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When a Reality TV Star With Tourette's Recalled My Fears About Having a Hereditary Disease

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So here’s the thing. I was binge-watching, as I usually do on my chronic pain days, a particular TV show, this time a reality called “90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?” If you’re interested on it, feel free to search it, but that’s not the deal. The fact is that one of the ladies who appear there, Loren Brovarnik, struggles with Tourette syndrome. And even if you see her with certain visible tics on moments of the show, the one I saw right before I started to write this piece really touched me.

She went to a Tourette’s awareness event, where she was told it was hereditary. Then, she had to tell her husband (who didn’t know that detail) that it could be genetically carried from one generation to another. Regardless of how the conversation went, as I saw her weep (with me weeping in unison), she had a powerful and brave answer to the possible scenario in which her kids inherit Tourette’s: she would love them and be there for them because that’s what she always wanted for her own life – to have someone unconditionally there for her.

I’m not married and I don’t have kids, but I want to be someday. I particularly want (actually crave) being a mom. I don’t have Tourette’ s, but I do have chronic conditions both physically and psychologically. And this episode recalled all my worst fears. It recalled what I saw when I saw a genetic test that gave all markers and inherent factors positive for major depressive disorder and bipolar disorder. It recalled every chill I’ve ever gotten when people tell me the arthritis I have could be given to my future kids. And not only that, it recalled the immense and overpowering sense of fear when I gaze into the future and think, “Will someone ever love me, chronically? Will someone be willing to have chronic kids from a chronic spouse?” And a thousand of those questions that come up not only on a sleepless night but very often.

But as I’m no psychic, nor do I have a crystal ball, I only hope. And I have brave testimonies, raw moments such as the ones from Loren that show me I’m not alone. That the debilitating fear that strikes me gets others too. And I can only hope that for any chronic human out there, there’s someone willing to chronically love and support them too.

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Screenshot via TLC YouTube

Originally published: January 30, 2018
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