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I May Be Chronically Ill, but I Am Still a Good Mom

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I often hear people sharing their thoughts of sympathy with me. “Oh, I am so sorry, this must be so difficult for you” is something I hear a lot when people find out I have a connective tissue disease and the baby in the buggy is in fact mine and not some child I am minding for a few hours. They of course gesture towards my baby when they make this comment. Being a mom is hard work for anyone – no matter what anyone says it is a full-time job. When you have a chronic illness, being a Mom is like trying to juggle two full-time jobs side by side all day every day.

For some reason people assume my daughter is an accident or happened unplanned because I am sick so I wouldn’t have planned her. I suppose in a way people think I might be a little silly for putting such a major second job on top of the one I already have. They don’t realize that my daughter is an absolute blessing, she is the push I need to get up in the morning and she is my reason for living.

It is so difficult, your right to have a chronic disease and be a mother. Yes, sometimes I can’t do what other mothers do. My daughter’s favorite thing to do is chill in bed with me in the mornings because sadly that is what she is used to. Like many mothers I cannot get up quickly and start my day at 6:30 or 7:00 because my baby wakes at that time. I can’t carry her around all day because the weakness in my arms and back don’t allow it.

I can’t strap my child to my chest and do all the daily chores that need to be done because I am simply not able. I have a small limit to my energy and I store it all for my daughter. Chores can wait. I don’t care if my house is a mess and my floors are dirty as long as my daughter is cared for, happy, fed and of course loved like no other. I provide everything a mother should for her and more because I have this condition. I am aware of her needs more because of it too.

Some people will think the fact that I can’t do what other moms can do makes me incapable of being a proper mom to my daughter. But that’s not true. Yes, I have a chronic illness, yes, it is extremely hard, but I am still a good mom.

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Photo via evgenyatamanenko on Getty Images

Originally published: December 15, 2017
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