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To the Pharmacist Who Judged Me When I Requested My Prescription

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Perhaps you thought someone so young and healthy-looking could never actually need medication. Here’s something you may not know. It’s a secret I hold within me — one that isn’t clearly evident upon first glance.

I am chronically ill.

I have multiple diseases that have wreaked havoc on my body, forcing me to depend on medications. Yes, you read that correctly. I am dependent on medications. You see, without my medications, there is a strong likelihood that I would, in fact, die. One of these life-saving medications is the one you so tactlessly judged me for requesting.

Would you believe me if I had told you I was less than a week post-op? Probably not. To the public’s standards, I looked well. My hair was done, my outfit was nice and I even had lipstick on. But health is easy to fake, and a smile can hide pain and the inability to eat.

Perhaps you viewed me as a drug-seeker. Let me educate you about myself. I am a stubborn, health-conscious and vibrant individual. I hate eating junk food. I hate when my body forces me to lie in bed all day, stripping me of the ability to get my blood flowing.

I also strongly dislike taking medicine. If there were any way possible for me to gain any semblance of my health back without the use of pills and injections, you can bet Sam Hill I would be doing it. If there were a magic food or drink to stop my body from attacking itself, I would be ingesting it. If there were special yoga moves that would correct my faulty autonomic nervous system, I would be doing it. If positive thinking healed my paralyzed stomach, my mind would be full of puppies and unicorns.

But there is no natural, magical cure. So I am forced to depend on harmful, and sometimes crippling, medications to achieve a measure of quality of life.

Please don’t judge me. You don’t know the battle I face every day. This life isn’t easy, you know. Chances are, I am already judging myself enough for the two of us. Please keep your comments to yourself and let me refill my prescriptions in peace.

Follow this journey on Crohnie Journals.

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Lead photo source: Thinkstock Images

Originally published: June 27, 2016
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