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The Struggle of Being a Planning Person With a Chronic Illness

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Hello, I am Morgan and I am a planner person. I plan everything. When I was 13 I knew what I wanted to do with my life. What job I wanted, and all the different colleges I would have to go to. I wanted to be an astronomer and go to the ISS.


Then I developed and was diagnosed with a chronic illness. I can’t go to the ISS and years of college will not be possible for me. I can no longer plan every step of my life, and this has caused me to develop anxiety. I have no idea if my body will comply when I leave the house. Every moment is unexpected. I cannot plan anything knowing I will be able to do it. The future is no longer clear to me, no plan to get me through it. I used to know how my life would go, and now nothing is solid.

Luckily I have found a career that is possible for me to accomplish. I have changed to a self-employment career. And of course writing is helping me as well. I decide the hours and the rules. I have a small amount of college and then I will be able to have some sense of serenity.

But I don’t know what is going to happen between now and then. It is very hard to have to change from a organized life to a disorganized one. Most people in my position deal with this anxiety, so if someone opens up to you about this struggle, please do not blow them off.

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Thinkstock photo via Rawpixel.

Originally published: July 7, 2017
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