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Thank You for Asking How I'm Feeling, but...

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I appreciate when people — friends, family, strangers and acquaintances ask how I am. “How are you feeling? How do you feel today? Hows it going health-wise?”

I usually say “Good,” because the real answer is too complicated and changes day-to-day. Yesterday I couldn’t hold down food or water, I was so tired I slept all day, my pain number was a 7. Today I got up early, my stomach is calm and nothing hurts. So had you asked me how I felt yesterday, the answer would be completely different than today.

Being in recovery from malnutrition is rare. The complications that led to my malnutrition are rare. There are very few people who can relate or understand. And I get that. I’m glad only a small number of people have an idea what it feels like. I don’t wish this on anyone.

So I say “good.” Because two years ago I was almost dead, so even on bad days I’m good. I have people I am completely honest with — some family, my doctors. I have people I will say a little to, things like “I don’t feel good so I can’t…” or “I need help with…” I’m thankful for those people, and those to whom I just say “I feel good.” I’m just thankful to be here.

Getty image by Marija Babic.

Originally published: September 2, 2019
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