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20 Things I Never Thought I'd End Up Doing (But My Disease Made Me)

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I enjoy writing. And hopefully, those of you who read my posts enjoy them. But I realize that a lot of them are serious in nature due to the topic I choose to write about. Bringing awareness to chronic illnesses in general and Sjogren’s syndrome in particular has become a bit of a calling for me. I advocated for those with disabilities and gave a voice to the voiceless while I had a career, I like to think that I am now lending my words to the millions out there who struggle like I do but don’t know how to explain it their friends and family.

But after writing so many serious posts, even the ones with humor in them, I thought I’d try to lighten it up a bit. So here’s my top 20 list of things I never thought I’d do. Ever! Enjoy…

1. Nearly choke on a small piece of cheese during my wedding photos. Guess who ended up drinking more communion wine?

2. Con my toddlers into giving me back rubs by telling them we were going to play cars and I was the mountain the cars had to go over to get to the town.

3. Drive around swathed in two yards of gauze fabric in the summer along with huge sunglasses. (The looks I got…)

4. Trip on dust.

5. Empty my purse at the store looking for my debit card and have 12 medicine bottles spill onto the counter. (Again, the looks I got…)

6. Forget stuff. Like Josh is not the dog…

7. Sit outside in the summer wearing sunscreen, long sleeves, sunglasses, a gauze blanket, and holding an umbrella while in the shade. (Yeah, my kids’ baseball games. Shaking my head…)

8. Match the color of my blush to the color of my facial rash, just in case.

9. Crawl around on the bedroom floor looking for pills.

10. Greet my son and his friends with a full syringe in one hand and empty vial in another as they burst into the house.

11. Have someone call the cops on me because I ran out of gas but I must have looked so bad that she thought I was having a medical emergency (I was in a lot of pain).

12. Have to carry a doctor’s note for my water bottle. And actually have use it.

13. Have my multiple bottles of eyedrops confiscated at a concert. (I swear the guy thought I was a dealer!)

14. Wear gloves. Everywhere. All year long. (Bed, too…)

15. Forget stuff. (Did I mention that already?)

16. Make noise walking up stairs. With my knees (it scares the cat).

17. Break a tooth chewing gum designed to strengthen teeth.

18. Give the phlebotomist directions to my vein.

19. Stop using knives. (Ya’ know, after that first one goes flying…)

20. Get mistaken for being drunk walking down the hall.

Well, there’s my top 20. Some of you will relate, some won’t. But I hope all of you will laugh!

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Originally published: November 1, 2016
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