Finding Hope When You Live With a Heart Condition

For as long as I can remember, my heart has pulled me through rough times.

It helped me complete my education with a learning disability and pushed me through my hardest days with mental illness.

But when I was diagnosed with a heart condition, it felt like the very thing that had pulled me through had failed me. 

An episode feels like I’m having a heart attack, though it will eventually calm back down to its normal rate.

I had to find new hope despite the rapid heartbeats, the painful feeling in my chest and troubled breathing.

Doctors and loved ones often brush off the fact that it’s not life-threatening, but I couldn’t help but worry about the next time my heart would start racing.

Because the feeling is absolutely terrifying.

Without my heart to lean on, I struggled to find that hope within.

The negative thoughts took over and I found myself wondering if it was worth it to go on.

But then I remembered when I was in the hospital after my second episode.

My mom was sitting next to me and told me how much her, my family and friends loved me.

The love and support filled that hole and because of it, I was able to find hope again.

It gave me a second chance, where I thought it was hopeless.

I can’t know what will happen to my heart in the future, but what I do know that I want to be around to experience it all.

To love, to sing, to dance to work, to laugh, to scream, and to live.