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Why I Wish You Wouldn’t Tell Me How Much You Worry About Me and My Health

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Dear friends and family,

I know how much you worry about me, but please don’t tell me.

It’s not that I’m not grateful for your concern; in fact, I appreciate it more than you can know. The problem is when you say those particular words to me, I feel the weight of your worry, and it hurts to recognize that it’s my fault you have to carry it. When you tell me how much you worry, I feel like a burden to you, and as a person with chronic illness, I already feel like a burden most of the time.

In other words, I worry and stress and fret about making you worry and stress and fret.

I know I may sound selfish, but I’m asking that rather than telling me how much you worry about me, you support me with comments to which I wouldn’t naturally and logically respond with, “I’m sorry.”

Instead, tell me:

1. I’ve been thinking about you.

2. I’m here for you whenever you need me.

3. I’ve been praying for you.

4. I hope you find relief soon.

5. I’ll love you always — no matter what.

My response to these comments would be a heartfelt “Thank you” instead of an apologetic “I’m sorry.”

Thank you so much for supporting me and for loving me, but please don’t tell me you worry for me — even when you do.

All my love,


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Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

Originally published: November 28, 2016
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