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To My Partner: Thank You for Helping Me With My CRPS

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Thank you. I couldn’t do it without you, from the day I got hurt to the day I got the diagnosis of chronic regional pain syndrome (CRPS). Through all the pain, the burning horrible pain. I couldn’t do it without you.

Sometimes there are things I need from you. Things I need more help with that I haven’t been able to ask for, because it is so hard to keep asking for help from someone who has already done so much for me.

When I’m having a flare up, help me remember the things I need to do to manage it. My pain pills, and lying down and resting.

When my pain is bad I know you feel  frustrated that you can’t do anything to make it better. But you can. Touch is healing and relaxing and calming. Even though you can’t rub the affected area (as that would hurt it more) a hug, a back rub, or just holding me for a while would do a lot to ease the pain and help me relax.

Try to understand that CRPS causes depression and anxiety, as does just facing a life-long painful condition. I’m doing my best to handle it, but I’m going to have days when I feel like I just can’t face it. When it just seems too much. I don’t need you to jolly me, to tell me “it will be fine, just keep pushing through.” That really just feels patronizing. It would help me more if you just listened.  Or let me cry. Sometimes I just need to cry and tell you how scared I am.

Sometimes I do need you to push me. Remind me to do my physical therapy and help me do it. It’s hard for me, its challenging. I’m more likely to do it if I have you cheering my progress!

Most of all, keep doing what you have been doing, because you are amazing. Holding things together when I suddenly became disabled, handling all the doctor appointments, the extra chores that I can’t do anymore, without complaining.

You’re always there by my side. Thank you. I know I can do this because I have you.

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Thinkstock photo by Vakidzasi

Originally published: February 23, 2017
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