It has set my life on fire, it has put a halt to my plans

Nothing is not excruciatingly painful

The fire, the lightning, the swelling

Pain

Showers feel as though I'm being electrocuted and burned alive with every drop of water

Sleep? My blanket touched me and I'm jolted awake

Pain

They say get outside, exercise, you'll feel better

Do they know how excruciating a breeze can be or the cold air? Do they know how exhausting getting dressed is? Do they understand?

Pain

Do they realize I have to choose between tasks including if I shower, what I eat, can I wash that pan? If I do this can I still get to that appointment? If I shower now can I sleep tonight?

Pain

A playful tap- touch the wrong spot

I'll scream

Pain

I have to try to live around it, live with it

I'm barely surviving

I'm masking the pain, putting a smile up for you

I'm giving you more energy than I truly have, I'm not lazy

I'm borrowing from tomorrow because I borrowed from today

Pain

Everyone else expects a smile and because they don't see it, I can do everything they can

Because they see my smile and not tears, I'm fine

They don't understand, they tell me to be happy to try this, do that, you had energy yesterday

It's exhausting

Someone even blamed me for my pain, said it was because I lived in sin by not believing what they believed or who they believed in... I was experiencing an example of the hell I'd face later if I didn't start believing and repent...

Pain

CRPS is my hell, CRPS reminds me I'm alive

But am I living?

Pain

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, not even for just a second so you'd understand

My pain

#MyPain #crpspoetry #CRPS #Poetry #myfirstposthere