How long have you been writing for? Why did you decide to write? What do you like to write about? My answer is down below ⬇️
I’ve been writing for 16 years. I started writing after I got discharged from the mental ward. I started writing nonfiction short stories about what went on that day. Then I wrote poetry for a few years. Now I write disability and self help stories that I’m wanted to turn into books. Now it’s your turn. Remember be respectful. #Writing #Poetry #shortstory
Sitting in the dark, I can hardly breathe
While the shadows call out to me
The world inside tries to intensify
In moments like these, I can barely speak
While the words bring me to my knees
The world outside tries to amplify
I’ve been lost at sea
Sinking further
My pain doesn’t go away
Just because you said it will
I’ve broken ties that held me here
My flame doesn’t burn away
Just because you said it will
I’ve spoken lies that led me here
You’re not a voice of reason
You’re not a voice of reason
Spinning in my head I can hardly sleep
While my dreams just laugh at me
The world inside tries to simplify
In moments like these I can barely see
While the whisper brings me to my knees
The world outside tries to justify
I’ve been lost at sea
Sinking faster
How many times can you toy with me
How many times can you burden me
1 reaction I finally had a couple days where I felt like I had some energy. But then a few days ago, exactly a year after I hurt my neck which started a terrible cascade of worsening symptoms, when I started to feel some relief of all the rehab and physical therapy, when I finally started to feel a bit like myself, I hurt my shoulder and neck again when accidentally I slipped while stretching. It feels potentially worse than a year ago. Its weak and painful and it even hurts to type and work on the computer, which is kind of necessary for my new idea of doing online tutoring, which is one of the things that was giving me some energy this past week. Im terrified of reliving this nightmare that wasn’t even close to being over before this most recent injury; its like I just restarted it. Doesn’t help that last night I had more nightmares involving my ex.
In a Blur
I’m in a blur.
As I stir, minds jumbled, a ringing whirs.
The pain in my neck and my shoulder it hurts.
I pray for a cure, for some hope to spur, to again feel pure.
But dark thoughts, they lure.
I fight the current, grit my teeth, growl 'gerr'.
Even in day the dreams of my allure for her reoccur.
Stuck in my head like a burr.
Please Sir, turn things back as they were, take away this hurt, you have the power.
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness #Insomnia
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You never know what other people see,
When you give time to another human being.
You never know what other people hear,
When you whisper “You’re amazing” in their ear.
You never know what other people think,
When you’re with a friend and abstain from a drink.
You never know what other people dream,
When your smile turns their frown into a gleam.
You never know what other people say,
When you dispense of how your pain melted away.
You never know how others too might act,
When you tell how the wrong way brought you back.
You never know how many tears you’ll bring,
When speaking of those who make your heart sing.
You never know beliefs you just might shape,
By ripping off what’s held your soul in place.
You never know whose life you saved tonight,
By listing tips that helped you quit a vice.
You never know how far your love will grow,
Till you share who taught you “let it go”.
Cause you never know who God has put in place,
Or whose story might be their saving grace.
You see, it’s not about how many likes you get,
Due to this thing we call the domino effect
And if just one person takes in what you say,
You never know how many hearts He’ll change.
It’s those dots we keep trying to connect,
Which are already laid out in retrospect.
For in God’s plan He’s the only one who sees,
Each “You never know” played out just perfectly.
So do not second guess of what you share,
Cause you never know which dots it’s meant to pair.
By: Debra Brent
05.24.2023
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Poetry #MentalHealth #CPTSD #PTSD #Trauma #SexualTrauma #Selfharm #SuicideAwareness #Healing #Anxiety #Sharing #Art #ArtTherapy #Depression #god
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What do you do when someone tells you over and over again that they will do anything for you, but when you finally muster the will to ask for help (only because you have no energy or ability to do a necessary task), they refuse or make it seem like such a burden? From my perspective im giving my parents an opportunity to help and feel like they are alleviating a tiny bit of my suffering, and show me that they truly care, and gain the slightest bit of trust back. But they just do opposite! I dont get why they cant just say okay and do one tiny super simple straightforward thing that is trivial for them but impossible and necessary for me. Even when they do try to help, they have to do it in their own way which is always counter to what i asked for. The more this happens, the more i realize this disgusting and emotionally abusive pattern has been going on my whole life. They are suffocating me and imprisoning me and will not even support me when I clearly communicate exactly what i need. I need to be free of them but i have nowhere to go and no options, besides moving into my tiny car and being homeless (again) which is just not possible in my physical (or financial) state. What do you do when the only people you have left are just repeatedly hurting you more despite you begging for help, but you cant just cut ties and say good riddance?
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness #Insomnia
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Vile Thoughts
These vile thoughts reek
Mumbles I speak
Curses no bleeps
Head ringing beep
I am dead meat
Cowering so meek
Please hear this feat
Can’t stand on two feet
Stomped by a cleat
Poisoned with deet
Burning like peat
Shivers in heat
Head under deep
Breathing through reed
I’m up late can’t sleep
Stop this I plead
Whining I bleat
Still counting sheep
Don’t say a peep
Sneaking I creep
Secrets I keep
Mind’s chaos not neat
Thoughts quickly fleet
Struggle to read
Friends I don’t greet
Home in the street
Bathe in the creek
Hope someone sees
How broken in need
I am indeed
Future seems bleak
How to redeem
Must take a leap
Got to believe
Someone hears me
He answers with tears
Or is that fear
Murky not clear
Ringing in ears
Lyme it appears
Now scared of deer
They are so dear
But harbor tick’s spear
Stinger of drear
Vacuum of cheer
Silent can’t hear
Wasted career
Life’s in the rear
Swerved off I veered
No control can’t steer
Stuck in first gear
Going on years
Feeling so mere
Can’t take a jeer
Please don’t come near
Suspect of peers
And who’s in the mirror
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness #Insomnia
1 reaction • " Just When.. Thing's Get Ugly In Life Sometime's... When You Atleast Expect It.. To Become Filled With Heartbreak And Pain... Reaching High Level's Of Uncertainty... Your Soul Become's A Beacon Of Light And H.O.P.E • That You Begin To Feel Within One's Self... Yes! Everyone Get's A Bump In The Pathway To Become Happier In Life... But We Can Also Define Those Shadow's Of Darkness And Find The Way Through An Unlocked Door... Of Solitude And Peace... L.O.V.E Will Come And Go... Or Stay For A Lifetime Achievement To Become Eventually Unlocked... No Matter What Stage's Someone Might Be On There Renewed Journey... To Become A Better Incarnation Of Themselve's..."• #Poetry 《 Skaoi Kvitravn 》
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I wrote this poem a month ago after my first appointment with my lyme doctor. I just had my second appointment and basically feel the same way: though I’ve at least started treatment, being healed and feeling like myself again is still a world away, and I’m really struggling to keep my head above water while spinning my wheels.
Another Doctor
Another doctor today.
At least this one didn’t shoo me away.
Too much I had to pay, but at least she didn’t say it’s all okay and that I’m cray cray.
But I’m still stuck in the mud and its hardening to clay.
Thought I would see sunshine but it’s just darkness, no rays.
Awake I lay staring out at the grey.
Been sick for a year and a half come May, and so far it seems sick I will stay.
My doctor says nay, that I’ll get better one day.
But it’s a long way away ‘till once again I feel gay.
It's just the start of my foray and for now I’m still frayed and afraid.
Still falling apart, still unable to play, please let me get better I pray.
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness
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In celebration of FINALLY submitting my PHD thesis, and of seeing my first hummer of the year, I thought I would post my favorite and by far the most meaningful poem I’ve ever written. A brief backstory: A few days before my defense, the nerves and stress were starting to boil, compounded by my worsening physical condition. I knew I knew my stuff, but still I had lots of preparation for my defense to go. But that evening, instead of frantically rereading hundreds of papers and my thesis or tidying up my presentation, I sat down at my computer and just started writing. I don’t remember why or even having the idea of writing a poem about my research, it just happened. From the first few words I had tingles down my spine and tears welling up (even writing this now, those tingles and tears come back, as they do every time I read this poem). I didn’t even feel like I was really writing- the lines were just pouring out effortlessly. It literally felt like I was transcribing my spirit. The only difficult part was seeing my computer screen through my tears, and controlling my laughter, joy, and utter disbelief of what was coming out of my fingertips. I don’t have the energy to fully describe how truly important this poem is to me, but suffice it to say that whenever I have doubts or regrets about spending 8+ years in the prime of my life studying these magnificent and mysterious creatures, this poem reminds me that it was (and is) ALL worth it, and that there really is something more to this universe than what we can touch and see :).
What Is a Hummingbird?
“ What is a fish? ”, my labmate asked me.
“ Don’t know what you mean ”
“ Then what is a hummingbird? ”
I smiled with glee…
A hummingbird’s a bird, a hovering bird.
It zips in the trees, and flits with the bees.
From flowers it drinks, “ where’s my next meal ”, all it thinks.
Sweet nectar dew, plus an insect or two, but at night, can’t find food.
In the day, so mean and lean to impress all the ladies with sheen.
At night, hidden in the green, unseen, no longer a sugar fiend.
Its fuel source must turn, now fat, it must burn.
And when that is done, torpor’s begun.
Fast asleep? or something deeper? We won’t know without a seeker.
An observer of sorts, a scientist of creatures; and today his research features…
A few insights, some questions, and many honorable mentions,
The whens and the whys, the ins and the outs,
Of a magnificent feat from those without feet.
Still, she becomes, and begins to succumb,
To the cool dry air, one last dream of morning sun.
Her metabolism plumets, body temperature drops.
Her fat’s at a level where she will go plop!
IF, she stayed warm, but her threshold did warn:
“ Use torpor,” it said, “ or we will be dead! ”
So torpor she did and torpid she stayed, until just before that morning sun came,
And oh how much fat she did save!
Now I could end there, but that’s not quite all,
I could go for hours, so I hope you’re enthralled.
But believe it or not, it does get more interesting.
So if you’ll stick around, I’ll reveal you the mystery,
Of how hummingbirds do it, torpor that is,
It’s not that simple, there’s a lot people miss.
It’s not every night, like the routine theory says.
Only when needed- emergencies, instead.
If former were fact, they might be too fat,
For a particular season, like midsummer breeding.
That’s when they stay light, fighting for survival at night.
Agility, that brings them, territories and fiefdoms,
That hold the best nectars and nest sites near raptors.
What about nesting, and does torpor impair resting?
For sure the former, likely the latter, and the immune system might also stagger.
Brooding moms avoid it, developing juveniles too.
And, not to mention molting birds, slower feathers would renew.
That happens in winter, after the ruby-throated glinter,
Takes flight to the skies, over oceans it flies.
The Gulf, to be exact, but we’re not sure that’s fact.
To Mexico it goes, and even flying by coast, high fat stores it must boast.
And during that time, when fatness is prime,
Torpor becomes crucial, to save fuel it is useful.
And so a cycle it remains,
Summer, Fall, Winter, back north with Spring rains.
Body mass always changing, torpor always sparing,
that valuable fat, whether short-term or long faring.
But how does it switch?
Is it a flip and a ditch?
Or a dial with a seasonal style?
We’re not quite sure, the latter I suspect.
The flexible fat threshold hypothesis, we must test.
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness #biology #hummingbirds #PhD
4 reactions It was so hard to get out of bed this morning…
I wrote this poem a month ago but today I woke up with it stuck in my head.
Don’t Want to Get Out of Bed
I don’t want to get out of bed.
My head is ringing and inside I feel dead.
I want to sleep and dream, to let my brain to mend.
But instead I lay here reeling from nightmares of my ex-girlfriend.
In pain I lay as I replay all my mistakes of the previous day, regretting everything that I said.
My life has turned upend, shriveled to shreds, filled with dread.
Will I get better? Don't think I would bet. Maybe, but not just yet.
#LymeDisease #ChronicLymeDisease #Babesiosis #Bartonella #Anxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #Loneliness #MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Poetry #MentalIllness #Insomnia
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