I just want to stop the scars that grow. Every time that I say...well...just about anything my mom's boyfriend shuts me down. My opinions don't matter, how I feel is a joke, and everything I do is wrong. The music I listen to is trash, my art is trash, my tears and depression are fake. I can't leave because of my mom...and she just lets him do this. He's a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic.....with everything I've gone through already...why do I need this? What have I done to him to deserve him treating me like this? I don't understand...I have recently learned that I am #nonbinary and I can't even say anything to him about it because when I came out as pansexual he told me I was a desperate slut, when I came out as panromantic he told me it wasn't real. I have been sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally abused and I'm only 19. What did I do that was so horrible?! I just wish that I could leave. At least this house...but essentially this world. I was having such a good day, and now I can't stop wanting to cry. I can't cry though. I have had to train my body not to cry because I am worried that once I start it will never stop. I'm not here to complain...I just want to know if somebody...anybody will miss me. Everything I do seems to be wrong. I only have one friend but she can't do anything about this. I can't wait to finally move out! #suicidal #KillMe #Depression #cryingforever