I slept for almost 13 hours. Woke up. Don’t care. Just want to go back to sleep. At least when I’m there, there’s no anxiety of having to possibly answer the phone when it rings or having to see who is knocking at the door. I don’t want to be alone. But I can’t handle being around people. Everything around me feels like a cage. But I feel safe here. Want freedom from the pain, from the worry, from the constant agonizing voices in my head telling me I can’t do it, so why bother trying? I’ve ruined the best thing I had in life.. lost my love of 13 years to my own neediness of attention and fear of being alone... thought his attention wasn’t enough... now I know, it was more than enough. But that doesn’t matter now, it’s too late.. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Daysaretoomuch #Icantbreathe #Lupus