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When Depression Hits You Like a Wave and Tries to Pull You Under

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One good day and I think I’m better.

I’m over it, I am healed. Then it hits me again from nowhere.

I am stuck again.


Lost in my thoughts, my memories, yet I am awake enough to know what is happening, but without any way to stop it.

It’s a wave in the ocean that sneaks up on me when my back is turned and rushes over me, pulling me under.

I can’t get my breath.

I want to cry but can’t.

I can see the light above me but can’t reach it.

I begin to give into it, let myself sink and be carried away but something inside won’t let me.

It’s a glimpse of a memory.

It’s my daughter. She is laughing and I know I have to fight to touch the light again.

So I kick and scream until I emerge from the water, drenched and exhausted without knowing how I will get to tomorrow.

But I know I have to.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Image via Thinkstock

Originally published: December 13, 2016
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