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Dear Depression, You Took My Best Friend. You Won't Take Me.

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gabby
Me (right) and my best friend, Gabby.

Dear Depression,

Honestly, I don’t know if I should love you or hate you. You tried to kill me. You successfully killed my best friend. But in turn, you’ve saved my life. Seeing now what pain has been caused by my best friend’s death, I could never let you kill me. But right now I’m OK with being confused.

My best friend, Gabby, passed away two weeks ago. Depression took her. I could feel my heart rip in half. I am only 16 years old; how am I supposed to deal with this? Depression, you stole my best friend. But with this action, you’ve saved many lives. All of her friends go on each day and #doitforgabby.

I’ve worked hard to fight you. I’ve been in years of therapy and had a plethora of different medications. I spend hours every day learning how to cope with living with you.

But you know what, I can handle you. I will have to deal with you forever, but I can. I can do it.

If you or someone you know needs help, see our suicide prevention resources.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

For all of March, The Mighty is asking its readers the following: If you could write a letter to the disability or disease you (or a loved one) face, what would you say to it? If you’d like to participate, please send a blog post to community@themighty.com. Please  include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio.

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Originally published: March 19, 2015
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