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Stop Blaming Yourself for the Toxic Relationship That Led to Depression

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Friendship is supposed to be an equal relationship, right? You give your all to your friends, and probably give even more to the people you consider your best friends. The reciprocation of beliefs, values and even so far as things we do for one another, is at the core element of our friendships. A good friend can bring out the best in you, and put you toward the top when it comes to all aspects of life.

You’re happier, you’re more outgoing, you’re financially better off and you all-around glow very differently. Those who are the most toxic to us can sometimes be those who are the closest to us in relationships. Toxic individuals can nab the most beautiful parts of our personality and make it into something we never thought it could be. The personal growth we receive between having a good friend and a toxic friend, is vastly different, and either end (even though it’s not black and white) can make or break us as an individual.

To those people who are stuck on the inside of a toxic friendship, we, as positive and forward-growing individuals who have been through it, we see you, we understand and we want to help you get away from it. Depression can set in early in a growing relationship that isn’t good for you. When a friend turns a toxic situation on you, and makes it as you are the person who did wrong, the feeling that you want to fix it, and just say “I’m sorry,” is appealing, but it isn’t right. Deep down, the inevitable feeling that it actually wasn’t your fault, will grow and it will eat at you in so many ways. The burdens placed on you by those people turn into sadness, which turns into anger.

Coming out of depression from a toxic relationship is a detoxing period that can change your life. When you shed away the negativity you’ve encountered and faced, the flower that blooms from that smoke and dust is one of new beginnings. The belief, “you can do better” doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. Choosing a friend who is with you, and who is on the positive growth side of your life, is the one of the best things to do. If you notice early on someone has toxic qualities that interfere with your life, or the most basic golden rule of them all, being respectful of you as an individual, don’t feel bad to let go.

We want to blame ourselves for so much in friendships that cause a huge depressive spike in us. Whether it is short-term or long-term, we have to be mindful of our mental and physical health. While the physical aspect of  health is so important, if we do not have our mental health in order, we can pretty much forget about anything else coming into order.

Unsplash image by Daniel Apodaca

Originally published: April 5, 2023
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