Ghosting, Disappearing, Leaving OH MY…#Ghosting #Disappearing #
My mental weight has been too heavy for many to hold over the years. I’ve been dismissed quicker than a rambunctious class of kindergarteners simply for being me. Those who left had little to no idea that they were leaving me with more scars than they found me with. The spookiest stories and greatest magic tricks of all time couldn’t hold a candle to the way they ghosted and disappeared on me.
And what’s the first thing we want to know about a magic trick? How’d they DO that!?! How’d they pull that off? We sit there with our mouths open in disbelief. The same is true with those who up and disappear from our lives. How could they do that? How can they just leave? It’s literally a poof and they are gone. No Abracadabra on our part can bring them back.
With seemingly seeing a ghost, usually it’s a “did that really just happen??” that follows. Again the shock is unbearable and we try to think of every other logical reason in the book because it CAN’T be that! The same is true when we get ghosted by people we loved. We will excuse and try to advocate for the ghost who floated out of our lives because we try to make sense out of the senseless and try to find a way to reason with the unreasonable.
Now we sit here. Sometimes years later. The shock has worn off, but we never did figure out that disappearing act or how that floating ghost drifted by us. We just know time doesn’t help heal scars we don’t understand. Unjustifiable pain seems to ache more than the pain that comes with a summary attached to it.
Two things can occur when we are deep in thought about “The Cruelest Show on Earth”-those who just magically disappeared…or the paranormal activity that haunted our hearts- the ghost of the past who never comes to the present…these two things can help us—one- we can remind ourselves that these acts are an illusion. The hand is quicker than the eye, and anyone choosing to play their hand against us is better off gone. And two- it and teaches us to speak. Give voice to our feelings and tell people how we feel instead of just drifting away. We can remember that avoiding a discussion does not avoid a disappointment. It actually does the opposite.
So whether it’s a now you see me, now you don’t…or a white sheet draped over an object…magic is for those who want to be entertained, ghost hunting is for those seeking a thrill. Our hearts need neither. Just an understanding of who we are and why we are us is just fine. Yes, the show must go on, but we don’t have to go with it.