Ghosting

My mental weight has been too heavy for many to hold over the years. I’ve been dismissed quicker than a rambunctious class of kindergarteners simply for being me. Those who left had little to no idea that they were leaving me with more scars than they found me with. The spookiest stories and greatest magic tricks of all time couldn’t hold a candle to the way they ghosted and disappeared on me.

And what’s the first thing we want to know about a magic trick? How’d they DO that!?! How’d they pull that off? We sit there with our mouths open in disbelief. The same is true with those who up and disappear from our lives. How could they do that? How can they just leave? It’s literally a poof and they are gone. No Abracadabra on our part can bring them back.

With seemingly seeing a ghost, usually it’s a “did that really just happen??” that follows. Again the shock is unbearable and we try to think of every other logical reason in the book because it CAN’T be that! The same is true when we get ghosted by people we loved. We will excuse and try to advocate for the ghost who floated out of our lives because we try to make sense out of the senseless and try to find a way to reason with the unreasonable.

Now we sit here. Sometimes years later. The shock has worn off, but we never did figure out that disappearing act or how that floating ghost drifted by us. We just know time doesn’t help heal scars we don’t understand. Unjustifiable pain seems to ache more than the pain that comes with a summary attached to it.

Two things can occur when we are deep in thought about “The Cruelest Show on Earth”-those who just magically disappeared…or the paranormal activity that haunted our hearts- the ghost of the past who never comes to the present…these two things can help us—one- we can remind ourselves that these acts are an illusion. The hand is quicker than the eye, and anyone choosing to play their hand against us is better off gone. And two- it and teaches us to speak. Give voice to our feelings and tell people how we feel instead of just drifting away. We can remember that avoiding a discussion does not avoid a disappointment. It actually does the opposite.

So whether it’s a now you see me, now you don’t…or a white sheet draped over an object…magic is for those who want to be entertained, ghost hunting is for those seeking a thrill. Our hearts need neither. Just an understanding of who we are and why we are us is just fine. Yes, the show must go on, but we don’t have to go with it.

I'm sort of functioning borderline and my bf is full blown borderline but in treatment. His recent trauma made it worse . We are identical in stuff which helps. We have the same traits but the opposite ones where it compliments.

Usually, but he was falling for me, saying he was terrified; I didn't know his diagnosis only "issues" - didn't know what "I'm terrified"  meant.
I overwhelmed him trying to talk to him and he broke up over text. I told him I agree and he flipped out and now won't talk to me ever again. I'm blocked and basically pure evil... Do I reach out and reassure him or wait?

I wasn’t going to write this, but I’m going to anyway. I went to work calm, but became a nervous reck knowing that my coworker (whom I really cared about) was coming back after being gone for a week. The week before, I saw something that made me hate him and wanted to return the same energy that he’s been giving me- which is the “I don’t give a f@&%” mentality. Needless to say, I ended up having to stop work to end up in the bathroom near tears and throwing up because I didn’t want to deal with this anymore. If he’s going to ignore and avoid me, I’m capable of matching the effort. I would literally catch him staring at me sometimes while we’re there. The thing that gets me is that he spilled his guts to me about his past and then when he started hanging out with the other people at work, he would barely speak to me because he was riding their jock the whole time. And I’m tired of it. If every other person in his life is just that terrible, he needs to realize that he’s been a terrible guy himself. I try to see the good in him, I really try, but I can’t anymore. I’m pushing him away for the time being. I regret nothing. #MentalHealth #Depression #Ghosting #pushingpeopleaway

There is someone whom I felt had lied about caring about me and I felt abandoned by this person, so I decided to ghost them. They don’t need me, I don’t really care how they feel about it, I feel like at this point I have to protect myself from them. I really cared about them, I genuinely did, then I saw something that made me hate them. For all that I know, I could have misunderstood something, but I’ve felt abandoned by this person before. So again, I feel that for the sake of my sanity, I have to push this person away. I know I’ll get over it, but right now they no longer exist to me. #MentalHealth #Depression #Ghosting #Relationships

During this depressive period, I find that I feel everything around me so intensely. Every memory of what lead up to this point has its monumental impact on my life, mental health, and just my wellbeing in general. With that, I always find that there are people who can relate to a degree of sadness, abandonment, anger, the heaviness, the emptiness, and all of the above that I have experienced. I often feel alone in the world, and even when I do go my own way for a while, I do think about every single person I’ve left behind. I’m guilty of “ghosting “, but for me it’s my way of saying that “I’ll get out of your way.” I’m a firm believer in letting people have their space, but I do fear abandonment. I’ve been guilty of going away without saying goodbye because I felt that it was better to leave to people before they left me. Sometimes in anger, I’ve felt justified in leaving because I felt that I was “giving them what they wanted” ( which was letting them be with who they really wanted to be with). It doesn’t mean that I don’t think about them afterwards, but sometimes I feel like my best gift to someone is to leave the picture especially if I feel like I don’t fit into their life for some reason. I recognize the fact that I’m a complicated woman with unsettled issues, and having normal relationships seems to be out of reach. I’ve been angry at myself for pushing people and I always think of the worst scenario to happen should I see said person again. Do I feel that I come across as difficult? Most times, yes... I’m trying to do better. #Depression #DepressionAndMentalHealth #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Relationships #FearOfAbandonment #abandonmentissues #FeelingAlone #Sadness #anger #Heaviness #Emptiness #Ghosting #unsettled #issues

My girlfriend of several months informed me this past Sunday that her ex boyfriend followed her down to Mexico to express his undying love and said he would not quit texting her. She flew back Monday and exchanged texts but she has not replied to my last one late Monday night. She will struggle with depression but she has never taken longer than 12 hours to respond. What's going on here? #Depression #Anxiety #worry #manipulatorcheating #Ghosting

Here’s the thing. Ghosting is straight up lazy and disrespectful. If you’ve ever been ghosted by someone, PLEASE remember that it says nothing about you and everything about them. YOU are worthy of respect. #Ghosting #youareworthy