A Goodbye Letter to My Son’s Eating Disorder
Dear ED,
I am writing to you today to inform you that you are no longer welcome in our son’s brain or in our home. You have managed to steal almost five years of life from him and from our family. You are a fake. You show up acting like you are the wise one in his mind who can offer him perfection that does not exist. You hold a life of empty promises for all of us and are not worthy of his time nor attention.
You speak to him lovingly, hoping to capture his affection, offering him a life that ultimately will kill him if he does not let you go. You are not friend. Friends don’t let friends starve themselves almost to the point of death. You take him away in isolation with you to a world that is volatile, lonely and unhealthy. With you, he gives up all that is right and important to him.
I am putting you on notice. We will do everything we can to protect our son from you ever returning to collect him back to your evil small-minded world. When he returns from residential and partial treatment next week, there will be guardrails and roadblocks in place to prevent you from coming back into our life and into our home. You, evil illness, are not welcome anymore. If I see any signs of you trying to see him again or come back to his mind, you will be squashed like a bug by an army. The army is large and mighty, comprised of his parents, therapists, dietitians and family who will take you down. He will see how beautiful of a person he is inside and out. He will come to appreciate his value system of family, love, support and freedoms that you only detract from. He will learn to push your voice aside using his many acquired skills that chase you away. He will return to his life that is enriched with people who love him and support him and are the real deal.
He will eventually recover from this horrific time spent with you. When he fully gets to the other side of his recovery, you will be a distant memory that sits on the other side of moon, unreachable and unapproachable. He will reach a place where calories aren’t counted, guiltily consumed or burned. Life will be enjoyed again. I was taught to never say I hate someone so I will simply say I despise all that stand for and all that you steal from millions of amazing people every day. You feed on the brain and destroy everything in your path. I bid you farewell and I wish to never see your presence again. I will continue to pray every day that you move far, far away and go take up space somewhere else in an evil world in which you come from, that has no human existence. You have created havoc and will not be missed. Please don’t try to contact us or sweet talk your way back in. We are not available to engage.
Goodbye forever,
C’s Mom
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.
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Shirley Bachman is a mother of two boys. She is employed full time as pharmaceutical executive. She is a dedicated advocate for boys with eating disorders. She is committed to sharing her family’s journey in battling this horrific disease. Her mission is to help families nationally seek help, succeed in recovery and navigate the complex mental health system in order to be the child’s best advocate and live a healthy life. She has also had to navigate the complexities of raising a son with Asperger’s. She strives to be a resource for families to ensure they find the best resources available.
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