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To the ER Nurse Who Asked About My Gender

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To the nurse in the ER,

Thank you for asking in my time of need about something that did not have anything to do with why I was in the hospital.

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Thank you for making me uncomfortable.

Thank you for showing your bigotry.

Thank you for ignoring what was actually wrong with me, just because I said, “I am not answering that.”

Thank you for not just using your eyes to see the on the scars across my chest — which would have answerd your questions.

Thank you for making me feel so uncomfortable I considered leaving.

Thank you for assuming you have the right to to ask me that.

Why didn’t you ask me a question – like whether or not I could be pregnant could you be pregnant? That would have answered all you needed to know – regardless of what is “in my pants.”

Thank you for being the kind of person I fear would put their own feelings above my care.

From now on, I will be going to the hospital with the longer wait time, because it means I will have the doctor and nurses treating me like what I am: a person, a man, and someone who matters enough to be treated with care.

I deserve to be treated when I have a simple case of pneumonia, and deserve to know that if something happens, like having a reaction to medication, it’s worth their time, and my gender isn’t worth their judgment.

A chronically ill trans man, but more than that  — a human being.

Originally published: August 12, 2018
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