Most individuals with a mental illness would be terrified at the prospect of ‘being committed’ and I was no expection. Before I left my home, I googled and googled to find experiences of other patients, not just at TMC but at any facility anywhere. In the lead up to my admission, the worst part was feeling like I didn’t know what I was getting myself in for.
I have Complex PTSD with major depressive episodes and Borderline Personality traits. I ended up at TMC because my private psychologist suggested it. I had been spiralling. I live in Australia and I am lucky enough to have the highest available medical insurance and therefore, access to the best private facilities.
On admission, it was exactly what I expected. Lots of, in my opinion, stupid questions about why I was there. But that was the only part that lived up to my expectations. From there I was shown to my room and given a tour of the facility including the art room, cafeteria, gym and public areas, such as lounge rooms. I was told about the choices I had control over and exactly what routine I would get in to. From start to finish, my first day was about getting me comfortable.
TMC encouraged all patients to make the most of group sessions. Topics range from disordered eating to managing depression to mindfulness. My first time attending group I was absolutely petrified but I was pleasantly surprised. Participation and openness was encouraged but not forced, tears often flowed freely when challenging topics were touched on, but no judgement existed inside those walls.
Lastly, the medical care. I was admitted under a psychiatrist, Dr J, who I had never seen before. Our first meeting was much about what he had heard from the registrar and general admin stuff. He told me he would see me every second day and the registrar every day. He made me feel comfortable. We discussed my current medications I was on; 200mg of desvenlafexine and 30mg of mirtazipine, a combination they jokingly refer to as ‘California rocket fuel’. He told me about the limitations and benefits of this combination and asked if I was open to his suggestions for change. But mostly importantly, he asked me what I wanted from a medication. He made suggestions and most importantly to me, told me about the science and his thoughts behind his suggestions.
Our meetings went on, every second day religiously. Dr J did not feel like a psychiatrist, he spent time getting to know me, understand my experiences and my living situation. We talked about a range of things. From day dot, he was talking about my discharge, everyone did. It was confronting at first but the mantra at TMC was ‘discharge planning starts on the day of admission’.
Every day I have little setbacks and little boosts forward. But now, more than ever, I feel less pain. I am grateful for so many things. I am well more than I am unwell. I feel like I can finally accept my trauma and change my life. But most importantly, I feel hope. #facility #MentalHealth