Today went pretty well, I enjoyed Christmas with my family (I used to say my fiancés family because I felt uncomfortable saying my family). I was a bit down in general but overall today was pretty nice. I thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy today because of the depression but I was wrong.
Instead of spending money on gifts this year (since I have none to spend) I decided to take a more heartfelt and personal approach. I wrote a touching Christmas message to the members of my immediate family. I wasn't sure if they'd like it or not but they really loved it.
It meant a lot to me to spend time with them, to be a part of a family after all the #Abuse that I've been through.
To be part of a family that loves and wants me. A family that is helping to heal the wounds of abuse and abandonment caused by someone else. I was afraid for so long, afraid to trust, afraid to let my guard down. Afraid of being hurt again. Which I think is all reasonable.
Sometimes it overwhelms me with emotion and I have to stop and think. I am no longer alone, I do not have to be afraid. I can trust someone. Everything is okay. I still have my bad days where I fall apart and my symptoms act up but they accept that. I am not blamed for the abuse like I was before. I am accepted, loved and protected (something that I wasn't before).
I apologize if others are not in my situation. I am not attempting to say that I am better off. If you are struggling, know that there is help out there. I believe in you. Have an awesome 2023 Mighties.
#Abuse #PTSD #Family #Holidays