I recently separated from my abusive husband and shortly afterwards I rekindled love with an old friend. It’s been peaceful and calming to be with someone who treats me well and seeing his love for me is more genuine... it’s captivating. I’m honestly terrified that my falling in love will fault and things will become like my last relationship. I was so comfortable in the pain that I never left, 10 years and 2 children I share with my ex... What if that comes to be the same way with this relationship.

My new partner and I have been best friends since we were kids, we met in first grade and though we never dated till now we messed around as teenagers. I wanted to be with him so badly back when we were teens but my conditions were worse, I could hardly think straight back then. It’s comforting to know that my feelings never faded but more so comforting to know that I am more in control of myself. He sees the more peaceful and at ease side of me, sometimes I feel like it’s fake though. I know the insecurities are partly due to my conditions but it scares me. I’m falling in love and yet I have doubts, I try to stay open and honest with him but sometimes the anxiety kicks me in the teeth and blinds me. It’s just difficult to stay positive after my life of negativity. My depression has been in remission and I’m worried if I keep second guessing myself that I may relapse. #thisworriesmealittle #hadtogetitoffmychest #justsaying #itfeelsright #feelingrightmakesmefeelwrong