Relationships

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Christmas/Xmas is my favorite holiday of the year. I love the decorations, the food, and just the feeling of being cozy to those I appreciate being in my life. Despite this, I believe that last year’s Christmas was the best for me because I wasn’t with my mom or sister; I was with my dad and my partners (yes, more than one partner and we’re all consenting), and some friends that came over, and I finally got what I truly wanted deep inside: love and appreciation.

However, I don’t believe in the whole “oh, where’s your holiday spirit??” bullcrap. What spirit? It’s not spirit for the holidays, I just feel happy about taking a part of it because I genuinely enjoy it, not to take part in some annual fad that just so happens to fit me in a way.

I get it. The holidays can be really fucking tough for others out there for different reasons, including trauma, family, anxiety, money, or just feeling like you must “fit in” emotionally. But here’s the thing: you can’t just expect others to be all happy and cheery all the time, even on holidays. That’s not how individuals work. One individual’s experience for a holiday won’t and will never be the same for every single individual here. I also find it highly ridiculous and even offensive to call someone a “grinch” just because they’re not up for the holidays.

And honestly, as an American minority, “where’s your holiday spirit?” and “grinch” feel like jabs, especially when it comes to how the recent years have been. Do you have any idea how much the world is being shit right now, especially when this fucking loser of a president has been here again? Do you have any idea how much hate and discrimination towards minorities has been happening more recently? If you find my last posts, you’ll know how incredibly angry I am. And you can’t expect me to just forget about it or that everything will be solved just because of some holiday commercial.

Not to mention the fact that not everyone is religious or believes in Jesus Christ. Well, I use “Christmas” even though I’m not religious and so do many other individuals, but that can definitely be alienating, too, when that’s enforced, and no, I’m not gonna stay quiet about it as individuals must accept that fact eventually.

In all honesty, there are holidays I hate as an American that may not be the same for others, and that’s fine. For example, I hate New Years. Why New Years, you may ask? Sadly, it’s been proved time and time again that so many fucking problems still happens in the first month. Maybe it’s some political bullshit that reminds me of how cruel this world can be to minorities like me, maybe it’s forest fires. I feel like there’s always something shitty that happens in January, and I fucking hate it. I feel like I’d be forcing fake positivity if I look forward to a new year at this point.

In all honesty, I’m starting to hate Valentine’s Day, too. I know what you’re thinking “but you have multiple partners, right?” Well, yes, and I love them to death, but still, this day was made to exclude individuals. What do I mean? Well, too many commercials, posters, or whatever media like to focus on monogamous romantic relationships a bit too much it drives me crazy. I mean I get it, it’s to make money, but again, not everyone is in or wants a romantic relationship, and not everyone is monogamous (like I). Also, we’re actually not in a romantic relationship, but we’re for each other in a more than friends way. That exists. That is real. I am on the aromantic spectrum, so I don’t really feel romantic attraction towards others anyway. And not everyone experiences “love” of any kind, whether romantic, platonic, familial, whatever, leaving those folks/folx alienated even further. Love isn’t what makes someone an individual; being an individual is what makes someone an individual. This day would have been better off focusing on just being kind to yourselves instead.

Back to what I was saying, there are many reasons why someone may not be so up for the holidays or for any other holiday, and that’s fine. I find it bullshit to make others force feelings that they do not have, that’s not how it works. They may love/like Christmas/Xmas like I do, but not even I find any reason to be so unnecessarily expecting. So, it’s okay to not like or to not be happy for the holidays. In whatever situation you’re in, I wish you the entire best, and please know that you are incredibly worthy and that there are those who understand, like me, even at times when you don’t feel so. Please take any time for yourselves, and know that it’s absolutely okay to set or want to set boundaries. You are important, too.

(Please refrain from calling me human (I have dysphoria, I’d rather not go into detail right now), please and thank you!)

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #AutismSpectrum #Autistic #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #neurodivergent #Neurodivergency #Vent #triggerwarning #LGBTQIA #MentalHealth #Holidays #WarmWishes

When consumed by the depths and darkness of depression, finding hope can feel daunting and even impossible altogether. The weight of depression can shift how you perceive and experience the world. Life becomes filtered through a lens of heaviness and hopelessness, which can make it difficult to feel that things could ever be different. In the grip of depression, it's often hard to see what there is to look forward to. It can sometimes seem like every day is going to be more of the same emptiness and difficulty to locate the path through.

Hope Retreats During Depression

When depression has taken over, affirmations and certain self-talk, such as telling yourself to “stay positive”, or other similar ones, are generally unhelpful. This is because positive self-talk in the midst of internal darkness and pain tends to misalign with the psychological and emotional state that you're caught in. Hope is not something you summon through willpower. It's quite difficult to take a "just do it" approach with hope (even if you can push yourself to get out of bed and move through your day). The general ability to see and feel optimistic about the future becomes compromised during depression. It isn't so much that your mind and body are refusing to hope. Instead, it's more like it has temporarily lost access to the feeling of hope and how to find it.

Therefore, restoring hope isn't about forcing an immediate shift. It's less like flipping a switch and more like caring for a garden that needs a nurturing environment to begin to grow again. It’s a gradual process.

Depression And Disconnection

Depression often comes from a variety of factors. Sometimes it slowly develops over time starting from early experiences where your emotional needs may not have been met, leaving a sense of internal emptiness. Other times, it may be a response from more recent losses: a relationship, loss of identity, or missing a sense of purpose. Depression can also be the result of past trauma that is being carried, whether more recent, or even further in the past. And more.

When depressed, it's common to experience a strong sense of disconnection from the world, others, and even from yourself. You might have difficulty connecting with things that once brought you meaning or satisfaction. Things that used to be motivating or exciting now may feel purposeless or irritating, etc. Even your feelings can become numb and your thoughts may seem different -- darker, negative, etc. This feeling of disconnection can make it very difficult to feel excited or hopeful about the future or life in general.

Creating Space for Reconnection

Depression is a state that needs attention, even when a part of you may want to push any attention or care away (which is common response during depression). The shame that people often experience when depressed can actually make it harder to reconnect and find a sense of hope. Shame can lead to self-blame and to beating yourself down simply for struggling in the first place. It may feel like you shouldn't be struggling, but are anyway, which can be a frustrating feeling.

When working with people in therapy for depression, part of the process is aiming to understand what this psychological and emotional state might be communicating or responding to. For example, depression can sometimes be a way of unconsciously expressing that important parts of your life are not in sync. Perhaps you’ve been storing and carrying difficult emotions or ignoring your own needs for too long. Or, maybe you've been feeling neglected, alone, trapped, sad, or like no one understands you or what you deal with and there isn't room for the support you need.

As you are more able to reflect on your emotional experiences and connect with what's underlying the heaviness and darkness, it becomes more possible to release the weight of the depression and restore a sense of hope.

#Depression #MentalHealth #IfYouFeelHopeless

When you need support or a listening ear, someone to chat with or call, an accountability buddy, or a partner for arts, crafts, or hobbies, who do you turn to? What makes that person feel comforting or safe for you?

If no one comes to mind right now, that’s totally OK. Instead, feel free to share what types of spaces or circumstances help you feel comfortable. What about those environments helps you feel safe to be yourself?

Mighty staffer @sparklywartanks feels most comfortable around her mom, sister, and the new friends she made this year. It’s taken time for her to feel at ease with others after being hurt growing up, but she’s been brave in opening herself up to new experiences.

Share what comfort in relationships or spaces looks like for you! 💫

#MightyMinute #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Autism #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #EatingDisorders #Depression #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie