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Have you ever wondered why you know what you should do, yet your body seems to fight you every step of the way?

Why is it so hard to stay calm? Why does anxiety take over? Why do cravings feel stronger than logic? Why can one stressful moment make it feel like all your progress has disappeared?

The answer may not be a lack of willpower. It may be your nervous system.

At the center of that system is the vagus nerve, the longest cranial nerve in the body. It forms a critical communication pathway between your brain and many of your major organs, including your heart, lungs, and digestive system. The vagus nerve plays a key role in regulating heart rate, breathing, digestion, immune function, and your body’s relaxation response (Porges, 2011).

For many people living with trauma, addiction, anxiety, or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the nervous system has spent so much time in survival mode that feeling calm can actually feel unfamiliar. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA, 2014), trauma affects the brain and body in ways that can leave people constantly scanning for danger, even when they are physically safe.

This is why healing is about more than changing your thoughts. It is also about helping your body experience safety again.

What Does It Mean to “Reset” Your Vagus Nerve?

Although people often talk about “resetting” the vagus nerve, it is more accurate to say that we can strengthen our body’s ability to return to a calm, regulated state. Through repeated healthy habits, we improve our nervous system’s capacity to recover from stress.

Think of it like strengthening a muscle. Every time you practice calming strategies, you are teaching your body that it no longer has to remain on high alert.

When Your Nervous System Gets Stuck

Trauma, chronic stress, and addiction can leave the nervous system trapped in survival mode.

Common signs include:

– Constant anxiety
– Emotional overwhelm
– Panic attacks
– Irritability
– Trouble sleeping
– Digestive problems
– Feeling emotionally numb
– Difficulty trusting others
– Strong urges to use substances to cope

Research consistently shows that prolonged stress affects both physical and emotional health, making recovery more difficult without addressing the nervous system itself (National Institute of Mental Health, n.d.).

Five Ways to Support Your Vagus Nerve

1. Practice Slow Breathing

Slow breathing—especially extending your exhale longer than your inhale—activates the body’s relaxation response.

Try breathing in for four seconds and out for six to eight seconds.

2. Splash Cold Water on Your Face

Cold water activates the body’s natural “diving reflex,” which can slow the heart rate and encourage relaxation.

3. Hum, Sing, or Pray

The vagus nerve connects with muscles involved in speaking and vocalization. Gentle humming, singing, chanting, or prayer may help stimulate these pathways while also encouraging mindfulness.

4. Move Your Body

Walking, stretching, yoga, or other gentle movement helps release built-up stress while supporting emotional regulation.

5. Connect with Safe People

Healing rarely happens in isolation.

Positive relationships help regulate our nervous system. Feeling seen, heard, and accepted allows the body to recognize safety again (SAMHSA, 2014).

Healing Is More Than Positive Thinking

One of the biggest misconceptions about recovery is that people simply need to “think differently.”

While thoughts matter, healing also requires helping the body feel safe.

As Dr. Stephen Porges (2011) explains through Polyvagal Theory, our nervous system constantly evaluates whether we are safe or threatened. Although Polyvagal Theory continues to be discussed and researched, its emphasis on the connection between physiological state, relationships, and emotional regulation has influenced many trauma-informed approaches.

Recovery isn’t about pretending you’re okay.

It’s about teaching your nervous system that you no longer have to survive every moment.

A Seven-Day Challenge

This week, spend just ten minutes each day caring for your nervous system.

– Practice slow breathing.
– Take a short walk.
– Listen to calming music.
– Reach out to someone you trust.
– Spend a few quiet moments in prayer or reflection.

Small actions practiced consistently can reshape how your body responds to stress.

Your nervous system learned survival through repeated experiences.

It can also learn safety through repeated experiences.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight.

It happens one breath…

One choice…

One moment at a time.

Rise Above Your Norm.

BigmommaJ
#vegaserve #MentalHealth #Healing

For as long as I can remember I have been determined not to age prematurely as far as my outlook and attitude goes. It disturbs me to see people who act like they are 20 years older than they are. It seems a waste.

I turn 66 next week but I try to have the energy and movement of a 50 year old.

Today though I got a reminder and reality check that indeed I am not in my prime anymore. Having been diagnosed with very brittle bones and having spent two much time in hospital over the last 12 months with fractures my doctor registered me with government provided assistance.

In a few days time I will be assessed and most likely the government will pay for a gardener to prune our trees and a few other garden tasks. They will most likely also provide some cleaning help. These have previously been my tasks. I have paid huge taxes over the years so I have no qualms getting free assistance but the reality I can’t do everything I used to is humbling.

I will get used to this. I must. I am sure that there would be countless people in other countries who would love government assistance like this.

I still don’t want to grow old graciously. I want to grow old outrageously large and still pioneering ideas and inspiring others. It’s time accept that sometimes we all need a little help.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to embrace a slower lifestyle.

I used to get overwhelmed by all of the things that I thought I needed to do in order to live a successful life. I thought that I had to have it all figured out—career, relationships, financial stability.

But the truth is, I don’t.

And I’m learning that’s okay.

I don’t want to be so hard on myself anymore for not being where I thought I’d be in life. It’s too draining emotionally and mentally to always be doubting yourself and your abilities.

Instead of letting my mind control me, I want to start letting more positive energy flow through me.

This season of life is offering me an opportunity to see the beauty in the ordinary. An opportunity to live life at my own pace.

And deep down, that’s what I think I’ve always wanted all along.

Here are some of the things I want more of.

More Slow Mornings

I want mornings where I don’t wake up and feel like the day is already ruined.

More often than not, I’ll wake up and one small thing will spark some sort of emotion out of me. Usually, it’s irritation or frustration about something.

I want to change the attitude of my mornings.

Start slowly.

No immediate scrolling on my phone.

Enjoying my cup of coffee on the patio.

Getting some sunshine before it gets too hot.

Jokingly, I hear sunshine is supposed to give you energy.

I just want more time to wake up gently instead of immediately feeling behind.

More Little Joys

Picking up fresh flowers at the grocery store to liven up my living space.

Reading all of the books that I haven’t touched and finding new ones to escape into.

Summer sunsets.

My favorite meal after a long day.

Songs that instantly feel like comfort.

I’ve learned that happiness is truly hidden in the ordinary things, and I want to notice those moments more often.

More Meaningful Connections

I want more conversations that go beyond small talk.

I want more people I can fully be myself around.

More moments of feeling understood.

I think all of us have ups and downs in friendships and relationships.

But for me, I learned the hard way who is and who isn’t a stronghold in my life.

I’ve lost friends and partners whom I’ll most likely never speak to again.

And the strange part of it all is that I lost these friendships and relationships because I was just being myself.

With that comes a lot of heartache, grief, and feelings that you’re the problem.

And those feelings don’t just disappear no matter how much time has passed.

Those moments of losing people made me feel like everything I thought about myself was true.

I’m not smart.

I’m not likable.

I’m boring.

The list goes on.

When someone you cared for and adored tells you those things about yourself that you already secretly fear, it does damage.

So, I want to embrace the people in my life who chose to stick around and let me be myself free of judgment.

Friendships and relationships are very important to me, and I don’t want to waste my time on people who don’t see me and accept me for who I am.

More Creating Memories With the People I Love

I have a tight-knit friend circle.

I actually met most of them in middle school, and we’ve maintained close relationships to this day.

I’m so lucky and forever grateful to have friends in my life who love and support me.

All of us are actually going to Romania for our friend’s wedding.

This will be our first time out of the country together, and I can’t tell you how excited I am to make new memories that I just know will last a lifetime.

Whenever I’m with them, I’m happy just being in their presence.

Sure, my mind wanders, and I can get into an overthinking funk, but they truly see me and appreciate me for who I am.

And that means more than they probably realize.

More Comfort in Being Exactly Who I Am

For most of my life, I’ve never really felt comfortable in my own skin.

I always had low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.

I was really hard on myself because I couldn’t do things as easily as others could. And that struggle made me feel weak.

The truth is, I spent my whole life confused about who I really am.

But once I was diagnosed, things started to make sense and fall into place for me.

I gained a new perspective and a new understanding of myself.

It gave me hope, purpose, and answers.

I don’t want to constantly judge myself like I used to.

I don’t want to feel disconnected from myself or appease others by becoming someone different.

I just want to be comfortable with who I am.

And I’m slowly getting there.

My confidence has grown.

My self-esteem is getting higher.

I’m getting there, little by little.

More Celebrating How Far I’ve Come

I think it’s easy to focus on how far we still have to go.

The goals we haven’t reached yet.

The things we still want to change.

But lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself to look back, too.

I’ve survived things I once thought would break me.

I’ve learned so much about myself.

And I’ve grown in ways that I never, ever expected.

There are versions of me from years ago who would be very proud of the person I am today.

And I want to celebrate that more often.

More Gentleness With Myself

Perhaps more than anything, I want to be kinder to myself.

I want to stop expecting myself to function like everyone else.

I want to stop measuring my worth by productivity.

I want to stop feeling like I’m somehow behind.

I want to give myself the same understanding and compassion that I so easily offer other people.

I think this season of life is more about returning to myself and making room for the things that matter.

About creating a life that feels softer, slower, and more aligned with who I truly am.

What is one thing you want more of in this season of your life?

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”— Often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Autism #AutismSpectrum #selfcare #MightyTogether