Join the Conversation on
66.4K people
0 stories
36K posts
  • About Relationships
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in Relationships

    I can't stand having a "favorite person"

    I am someone that is not diagnosed with BPD but I have a long list of obsessive relationship that always end up in pain and falling apart. Right now, my "favorite person" is my best friend, our relationship started amazing, we talked everyday and I was so amazed how someone the cool existed in this world but then I started worrying obsessively about him leaving me, that he actually hated and those thoughts became a daily torture that made me hate his guts every si gle time I feel so overwhelmed with my feeling for him, I feel he changed since my thoughts statted getting into out relationship, I know it is my fault because he told me he is tired of this endless cycle of being ok, having conflicts, me being silent and then to go back into being ok again. I really can't this situation anymore, this is situatiom that has happened to my sincw I was a teen and I am tired of feeling in agony and in pain just because someone doesnt give me the attention I need, I am tired of being marveled at someone to hate them, I am tired of losing loved ones thanks to my actions and thoughts. My best friend knows a little bit about this but I feel he is too tired of having the same conversation again, I don't know if I should stop being friend with him or being a little bit more communicative about the pain I am always experiencing, but this scared me because I don't want to get him more tired, please, if someone can tell me what to do, I would reallu apprraciate it, I am feeling way more suicidal a d I am self harming more often, I am desesperated



    I've Already Shared A Bit About My Brothers & My Views, & Feelings, On & In Regards To Them.
    Today I'm Going To Elaborate.
    This Sharing Is For Scapegoats & Those That Have Been Abused By Siblings.
    This Is To Let You Know You're Not Alone-For No Other Purpose Do I Write This.;;;;
    My Siblings Are All Boys & All Younger Than Me.
    Because They're Younger This Means That They're More Vulnerable & Much Easier To Take Advantage Of,Exploit, & Manipulate.
    The Parents & Family Realized This Early On & Ran With This.
    First My Mother Turned Them, Then Our Father, & Then Our Fathers' Family.//
    As An Adult I've Had To Deal With This Aftermath & It's Its' Own Type Of Hell-With Various Levels.;;
    When They Talk About My Child Self Intellectually They Comprehend I Was A Child BUT,On All The Deeper Levels, They've No Comprehension.
    When They Talk About My Child Self It's Like They're Talking About Just Another Adult That Was In Their Lives At That Time.
    If One Didn't Know Anything About Myself,The Family, & My Brothers Then They'd Assume It Was An Adult My Brothers Are Talking About & Would Be Very Shocked, & Surprised, To Learn It's Not.
    Getting Them To Acknowledge, & See, Me This Way Opened The Door Even Further & Allowed Even More To Be Accomplished.
    What Opened The Door Completely Was The Combination Of Getting Them To View Me This Way & Using The Jealousy, & Envy, That They Had Within Themselves & Getting It To Explode Out Of Proportion-Very Much Like A Bomb Going Off.//
    My Brothers Are Jealous, & Envious, Of The Fact That I Got To Go Fishing & They Didn't.
    They Hold This Against Me.
    They Refuse To Listen & I've Had To Grieve This & Move On.
    Yet, If I Could, This Is What I Would Ask Them:
    Would You Bring Your Own Daughters Fishing With 1 To 2 Icechests Filled With Alcohol,Drink It All, & Terrorize Them; Watch As They Shake & Have Fear In Their Eyes Because You've Become 'Scary Daddy'?.; Would You Honestly Put Your Daughters Through This?.
    They'd Probably Tell Me 'No'.
    I'd, Then, Ask Them-'Then What In Gods' Name Made It OK That Our Father Put Me Through That?!.'.;;
    Another One Is They're Jealous, & Envious, Of The Fact That I Got To Go Clothing Stores More Than Them.
    They Think I Picked Out My Own Clothes.
    What They Don't Know Is That I Was A Dress Up Doll & Never Got To Pick Out Anything!.
    I Wasn't Allowed An Opinion.
    I Just Was A Huge Doll & That Was It.
    The Only Reason They Weren't Subjected To This Is Because They Were Males & They Weren't As Much Fun To Play With.
    Also, They Were Jealous, & Envious, Of What Went On Between My Mother,Her Mother, & Me.
    If I Were Allowed To Ask Them I'd Ask Them This:
    ' Would You Allow Your Daughter To Be The Play Thing Of Your Wife & Mother-In-Law?; Would You Allow Your Wife, & Mother-In-Law, To Use Your Daughter As Bridge Between Them So That They Could Have As Normal A Mother/Daughter Relationship As Possible?;
    Probably They'd Answer'No'..
    I'd Then Ask'Than What In Gods' Name Made It OK For Our Mother, & Her Mother, To Treat Me That Way If It's Not OK For Your Daughters To Be Treated That Way?!.'.
    End Of Part 1


    Husband highly influenced by his toxic family

    I have grown up in a family that believes in forgiving, seeing the good in people, and putting others before ourselves. We try to see every situation from a place of understanding and empathy. The values I've grown up with are in stark contrast to my husband's upbringing. His family is vengeful, egoistic and the most unforgiving people I've come across.

    So whenever we get into an argument, my husband gives me ultimatums like "unless you agree to what I say, things will never get better." He likes to think that everything is my fault and that he or his parents can never be wrong.

    The last fight we had was a month ago. We reached a settlement after which he had to travel abroad for work. After that incident I have been nothing but kind and loving towards him. Despite being in a long distance relationship now, I've tried to express my love for him in whatever way I could. I keep reminding him of our good times and giving him hope for the future. But he is so full of resent even now that he continues being emotionally abusive by ignoring me and dismissing my efforts.

    The problem is his toxic family. They keep feeding him lies about me. He was a divorcee before he married me. His family was responsible for breaking his first marriage. I accepted him without judgment and loved him too much that he couldn't believe his luck. He told me this himself. But after his family got involved things have only gotten worse between us.

    How can I make him see that the real problem is his toxic family? 😞 Am I to be blamed for spoiling him with my love? What is the correct approach in this situation?

    #NarcissisticAbuse #toxicrelationship #Anxiety #Depression

    5 reactions 3 comments

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is ann0318. I'm here because my anxiety and depression and past history are ruining my current very real and deep relationship

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #ADHD

    6 reactions
    See full photo

    Valleys #Depression #Anxiety #Hope #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #PTSD #MentalHealth

    I was thinking about 2022 recently and it was a year like no other I have experienced. 5 days before I was due in court the case against me was withdrawn due to the overwhelming factual evidence we had to prove my case.

    After this it was 6 surgeries in 5 months and twice I came very close to dying. As 2023 loomed my goal was a surgery free year. Well that goal has been broken as I am scheduled for another heart operation soon. And that’s ok. This surgery will significantly reduce my risk of having a stroke.

    As I look back over my life I can give thanks for the hard times, the valleys. They are unpleasant when you are in them but we can learn so much from them.

    I love this song by Eli. It’s called Valleys.

    Lying at the bottom
    I can clearly see the top
    Pressed against this firm foundation
    I count none of this as loss
    And as I struggle up this mountain
    With every bloody knee
    You know I'm often prone to stumble
    But it's this rock that catches me

    And it's this rock that tells me
    That's what valleys are for
    It's from here that we measure
    Just how far we must go
    You don't know how tall you stand
    Until you fall

    23 reactions 9 comments

    Here we go again

    When I decided to quit my job, I thought I could rest and learn how to be better. But its worsen. The only happy thing that happened to me is my daughter. I feel distant from my husband each day. I tried to reach out but seems like its getting nowhere. I know he tried but it seems like he is not the person that I once knew. He said he will always be with me in whatever things but why do I feel so alone? he doesnt have an initiative to start asking me how’s my feelings. He never initiate to talk about our feelings. we rarely communicate anymore on how we feel. LDR relationship since day one but we communicate a lot when we were dating. I feel so sad and hurt because i’ve been trying so hard to communicate, maybe its not like how it used to but in LDR, if there is less to none communication occur, then what’s gonna keep us together? He’ll listen when I talk but when I went silent he never bother asking why. So today is one of the darkest days that I sunk into the darkest moment of my life. I let it get the best of me. I feel worthless, guilty, bad mom, bad wife, bad daughter in law & I just cant keep up. So i went to the kitchen just know and I have the urge to hurt myself so bad with a knife. Im a stay at home mom which I dont mind really because I have all the good plan that I have in my mind, a good routine for my daughter but most of the days I cant function. So i let time pass just like that. When you are a SAHM, you need to have a good routine for your mental health but then again your mind is clouded with the thoughts that wont go away. Not that I want to. I want to feel better so bad & I know my trigger point & the only way to feel better is to keep distant from my trigger point for the sake of my sanity and to have a quality relationship with people.
    But how do I do that when the trigger point is your own in law?

    We dont see eye to eye for most of the things especially when it come to how I raise my daughter. I understand that different family have different approach but why cant people think the same? Why cant people respect my boundaries and respect that I am a mother to my daughter? That I am a full-grown adult and are capable of taking care of my family although I dont bring food to the table BUT I RAISE MY LITTLE GIRL BY MYSELF AT HOME! Doesnt matter if im tired, sick, freakin sleepy, my body hurt like hell, I always make sure my baby well being my top priority. I need a good support system. But clearly people think im a mess.

    2 reactions

    SWEARING..... Does it help?

    I came across this study..... what do you think?
    Swearing can alleviate pain
    Swearing is often seen as taboo or offensive – or in some social circles, damn good fun! But did you know that swearing can also have a physiological function?

    There have been several studies on the relationship between swearing and pain tolerance. In one study, researchers at Keele University had participants immerse their hands in cold water, around 37 degrees Fahrenheit (3 degrees Celsius). They discovered that people who swore were able to tolerate the cold water for longer!

    One theory is that swearing seems to activate the part of the brain that triggers humans’ fight or flight response, which can lead to a surge in adrenaline, a natural form of pain relief. So next time you stub your toe and hear a few unsavory words erupt from your mouth, don’t be too hard on yourself – you’re practicing pain management, drug-free!

    1 reaction 2 comments
    See full photo

    Is being a strong-headed person bad? #DatingAdvice

    I was trying online dating, and I met this guy. Seems to be nice, but once we started to talk about deeper topics and preferences, he rejected me. I am ok with that, I am used to it.

    #relationship s #Dating

    3 reactions 1 comment
    See full photo

    Is being a strong-headed person bad? #DatingAdvice

    I was trying online dating, and I met this guy. Seems to be nice, but once we started to talk about deeper topics and preferences, he rejected me. I am ok with that, I am used to it.

    #relationship s #Dating

    3 reactions 1 comment

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is shortyjudejb. I'm here because im in a relationship with someone that has bpd and i want to understand and support her
    #MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #ADHD

    7 reactions 4 comments