Feelingthepain

sadness for days now/worse than sadness is my body shutting down my ability to release the tears/I just need to cry animalistically/last time it was it was beautiful and cleansing/cried for over an hours/didn’t hold back primal screaming/TEARS flowing the whole time
🙏❤️👍✌️🦋🐞✌️👍❤️🙏
Peace and Love 💕 Always 🙏

#Feelingthepain

I'm in a residential rehab for the *&%$$!&...time and feeling overwhelmed.
I really don't know what to share or how much, so I'll just put it out there. I'm 53, and stunned that I have landed myself here again. I've struggled with alcohol, drug addiction for 30 plus years, chronic back pain for about 20 years. I'm in what is called a residential men's rehabilitation center, but it more or less a work for meals and roof over head institution. I'm grateful that I have a place to pull things together, but it's a negative, heavy atmosphere, with individuals with a lot of mental health issues. I especially am tired of the stigma that as an addict I have to face down. I feel shame in the effects my life has had on my children, family and friends as it is. So to hear the constant reminder of how stupid I've been doesn't help. There is no treatment here. It's patience-to get through several months and get reconnected to the 12 step community again, and my own housing-that I'm working on. I feel like I just puked on the page. I hope someone can relate, or maybe feel less alone by the post. I will soldier on with the help of God and the new friends I'm making.