Addiction

My medical story began after a major misdiagnosis of hypochondria and anxiety. I would be dismissed and redirected. I was a case of compounded symptoms with no diagnosis. I was accused of hard drug use, but would refuse medications for the anxiety and depression, had a fear of addiction with pain pills and have a past eating disorder. Maintaining a healthy diet and high physical activities kept me healthy.When I was healthy. Coping skills and executive functions were on point for years. Judgement and my choices were mediocre but sound.I paid bills, kept appointment and cared for my family. I have cared for others my whole career. Advocated for years for children and started a DPS with a local nonprofit.

Six years ago, during a shift, something went wrong and I needed to leave. I panicked and had a medical event, at the same time. This was during Covid. The initial assumption made by medical staff and my employer, that it was stress induced. My Dr.s and employers backtracked and juggled diagnosis and annoyances, telling me "it was ALL in my head".Six month later, I am told I have a lime size tangle knot of blood vessels cutting off oxygen to my brain. And now my heart hurts all the time. Meanwhile I'm told it's nothing and Im exaggerating the symptoms. I was put through endless assessments and winding road appointments to justify a diagnosis. to catchh up.Then I'm given the PTSD diagnosis, assuming its domestic, ignoring my pleads again. Then my family intervenes and builds a case against me for entrapment, after my other family had already abandoned me, because I just wanted attention, hypochondriac and a liar. My truths, reveal their truths. And the entire time, I was logging in a diary, so I wont forget again.

All information, my contacts and my relationships are gone. I have been ignored, dismissed and avoided, due to betrayal involvement and accusations. I was isolated and vilified for a chain of events and my lack of coping skills. People have purposefully withheld information from me, leaving me in a confused state for three years now. It is systematic and wrong to do to vulnerable people. Disabilities, should not be compared. An individual with multiple medical and chronic issues and still can have a successful life, while on Social Security. Your life does not end. You are not an assessment.You are not a label and you are not a burden.

Putting individuals into boxes, is a failure from the start. Alternative practices and care must be out of the box, for change. Art heals, Writing heals, dancing heals, strengthening heals, play heals, balance heals and sometimes, swearing your head off at the anger heals. Love heals. Isolation does not heal, shame and scrubbing ones soul, does not heal.Expressing it does.

You should not loose all credibility because you are sick and forthcoming with your struggles. Your life and choices are not erased and handed to someone to diminish. Support staff must enhance and provide steps, for the individual stepping stones, stairs, and be the pillars, to hold up the goal posts. Encouragement and rewards. Not manufactured choas to get an outcome.

Giving a misdiagnosis, not trusting the patients recollection or capacity, and list of symptoms, causes damage to all care for future goals, treatment and outcomes. Giving the individual the truth and the choices, creates trust for repair and care to be successful. I no longer trust the systems in place, because of this. And that has completely jeopardized my care and caused distress.I have to restart daily without a support circle. It is a loop of self neglect at this point. But tomorrow, I will have forgotten.When you go backwards to a clean slate, you loose endless amounts of skills and things you have to relearn.Executive functions, a vague assortment of things.

Observation and assessments must be transparent and true, without any speculation or assumption. Any. For a diagnosis to be valid to the care. The individual has to be included. Any compromise in this chain of command, you lost the diagnosis and treatment. Individuals need alternative means to change, to keep fostering growth and to keep building on what they have lost. And to foster what they gained.