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Call to ActionRise Above Your Norm: This Is Where It Shifts By BigmommaJ

There comes a point where awareness no longer enough.

Where understanding your patterns, your pain, and your past stops being something you just recognize—and becomes something you decide to confront.

Because insight without action keeps people stuck in the same cycles… just with more awareness of why.

Rising above your norm means choosing differently—especially when everything in you is wired to go back to what feels familiar.

For You

This is personal

This is where the work begins—not in perfection, but in honesty.

Start asking yourself:

*Is this belief mine—or was it taught to me?

*Is this coping strategy helping me—or just helping me survive?

*Then begin, slowly but intentionally:

*Speak what you’ve been conditioned to silence.

*Feel what you were taught to suppress

*Reach for support, even when it feels uncomfortable.

*Challenge the voice that tells you you’re “too much” or “not enough”

You don’t have to do everything at once.
But you do have to start.

Because what was learned can be unlearned—and you are allowed to outgrow the version of you that was built in survival mode.

For Those Doing the Work Professionally

This is where practice meets accountability.

It is not enough to treat symptoms without understanding the systems and conditioning behind them.

*See behaviour through a trauma-informed lens—not a compliance lens

*Replace judgment with curiosity

*Create spaces where people feel safe enough to be real—not just “stable enough” to be discharged

*Advocate beyond your role—because the system is part of the story

The Mental Health Commission of Canada continues to emphasize that stigma and systemic barriers remain central to why people do not access or stay in care (Mental Health Commission of Canada [MHCC], 2022).

If the system contributed to the harm, it has a responsibility to be part of the healing.

For the Bigger Picture

Communities don’t change by accident.

They change when silence is disrupted.

*Talk about mental health and addiction openly

*Challenge narratives that blame instead of understand

*Support policies that address trauma, poverty, and access to care

*Stop expecting individuals to heal in environments that continue to harm them

The World Health Organization reminds us that mental health is shaped by social conditions—not just individual choices (World Health Organization [WHO], 2021).

So the work is not just internal.

It is collective.

The Shift

Rising above your norm is not about becoming someone new.

It is about refusing to stay who you had to be just to survive.

It is choosing:

*Growth over familiarity

*Healing over avoidance

*Truth over silence

Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when it’s slow.
Even when no one else sees it yet.

Final Word

Cycles don’t break because time passes.

They break because someone decides:

“This ends with me.”

Let that someone be you.

BigmommaJ
#socialconditioning #MentalHealth #change #RiseAboveYourNorm

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On this day 9 years ago, I got a phone call that my best friend was found unresponsive in his bedroom. As messed up as it sounds, I thought it was an April Fools joke at first. He was sober from opiates for 6 months prior to this. He was living with me while he sobered up and finally got back on his feet. Even while going through withdrawals he had a sense of humor and a good attitude. He was an uncle to my kids and kind to everyone he met. Eric tragically overdosed on Fentanyl and a piece of me died with him that day. I just wanted to honor his memory today. Thanks for letting me share here.

#Depression #Addiction #Loneliness #MentalHealth

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Strength is not avoiding pain.

Pain is something everyone experiences, but how you respond to it shapes the kind of person you become. It’s easy to let pain turn into anger, resentment, or distance from others. But it’s much harder, and much more powerful, to process that pain and choose not to pass it on. That choice is what builds emotional strength and creates better relationships and a healthier mindset.

Do you feel like pain has made you more guarded or more compassionate?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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Feeling Lost in Life? Ask Yourself This One Question

When people feel lost or unfulfilled, the instinct is often to change everything. Quit the job, move somewhere new, start over completely. But sometimes the problem is not your environment, it’s a lack of direction or meaning. Instead of asking what you should escape from, try asking what kind of change you want to create in the world. When you focus on what you want to contribute, you begin to find clarity, purpose, and motivation. Direction often comes from what you choose to give, not just what you’re trying to get.

If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

If you want to learn more about this, check out my video by clicking on one of the links below.

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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From Broken to Brave

By now, those of you who keep coming back have probably noticed a pattern in my story—trauma, hard decisions, abuse, and moments that could have broken a person.

But today, I want to talk about something different.

I want to talk about going from broken to brave.

I want to talk about growing your wings.

About becoming your own warrior princess.

About choosing courage, even when it feels impossible.

Today is about what I’m proud of.

I want to start with overcoming addiction—because that alone is a mountain. Not just the act of quitting, but everything that comes with it: the pain, the withdrawal, the emotional unravelling, and the deep, uncomfortable work of facing your trauma head-on.

Kicking a 20-year habit wasn’t just about putting something down.

It was about picking myself up.

It meant going to therapy, digging into wounds I had buried for years, and learning how to heal a heart that felt completely broken.

And today, I am incredibly proud to say that I am six and a half years clean and sober.

Even more than that—I no longer want that life. I don’t crave it. I don’t miss it. I’ve built something better.

I am proud of the mother I’ve become.

My son is almost 14 now, and he is thriving. He’s growing into an incredible human being—kind, strong, and resilient. He towers over me now in more ways than one.

There were times when the people around him were not kind, not safe, not what he deserved. And in those moments, I became what he needed.

I became steady.

I became strong.

I became his safe place.

And I am so proud that I was able to show up for him in that way.

I am proud of who I’ve become despite everything that tried to bring me down. The people, the circumstances, the weight of it all.

I rose anyway.

I am proud that I didn’t stay broken.

I’m also proud of this blog.

This has been six years in the making. For a long time, I thought I needed to write a book to tell my story. But one day it clicked—this is where I’m meant to start.

And now, here I am.

About 100 of you are reading my words today. And while that number might seem small to some, to me, it means everything.

Because if even one person feels less alone because of something I’ve shared, then it matters.

I hope to reach more people—those navigating trauma, mental health struggles, low-income life, single parenting, and everything in between. People who are just trying to survive and maybe, one day, learn how to thrive.

I’m proud of the friend I’ve become.

There are still days when I have to cancel plans because my mental health needs my attention. And that used to come with guilt and shame.

But now, I’ve built a circle of people who understand. People who support me, who cheer me on, and who want to see me happy and successful.

I’ve learned to let go of the people who didn’t.

And that, too, is something to be proud of.

I am proud of the partner I am today.

After six years of being single, I took a chance on love again. I opened my heart when it would have been easier to keep it closed.

And this time, I chose differently.

I chose someone who is right for me. For my son. For the life I am building.

I’m proud of myself for allowing love back in—and for recognizing what healthy love actually looks like.

That is bravery.

So today, I’m allowing myself to celebrate all of this.

Not quietly. Not with hesitation.

But fully.

And I want you to do the same.

Take a moment today to recognize how far you’ve come.

The things you’ve survived.

The ways you’ve grown—even when it felt slow, or messy, or invisible.

Be proud of yourself.

Even for the small things. Especially for the small things.

Because of those small steps? They’re what carried you here.

Go forward today with love for yourself.

With pride in your journey.

With courage for whatever comes next.

You are stronger than you think.

Today, I sign off.

I love you all.

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