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Not hurting anyone.
Back in the 80s when I was I child at school, one of the teachers showed me a room with computers in it, mostly old BBC ones. It was the first time I saw a computer, and I developed an overwhelming excitement for computers and anything to do with them. They were the most fantastic thing I had ever seen.
Hence commenced a lifelong relationship with computers, and I become a computer programmer in the Early 90s. In 1994 my obsession with computers was supercharged to a Galactic level with my discovery of the Internet. The novel experience of surfing the web, gave me a sense of freedom and expansion that I had never experienced.
However pretty rapidly another obsession took over. Looking at naked pictures on the Internet. I already had a mild interest/habit in magazine pornography, but the Internet made that vice so much more convenient, private, with more variety and instant gratification.
It was mild stuff that was available at first. Gradually it became more intense, and my addiction increased.
By the late 90s internet video had been mastered by computer scientists, and hardcore video pornography was available for free. I found nothing in life more exciting or engaging. Everything else that I was interested in faded into obscurity, including all relationships, church and community.
I got a job during the dot com boom in Internet Development, but the pornography addiction got so bad, I would use pornography at work, and had the extremely embarrassing situation of being caught at work using pornography. I lost my job, became homeless, and developed schizophrenia.
On the street, I committed shoplifting to eat, and was convicted of breaking and entering. I had a criminal record. Thus a promising career as Internet Developer during the dot com boom, was reduced to being a Schizophrenia patient in a psychiatric hospital in London, which at least was better than going to prison or dying on the street.
After coming out of hospital in the 2000s, I luckily got a flat, but even then I hadn't learned my lesson. I went back to pornography and for 8 years I gorged on the most disgusting, lurid, filth you can imagine sometimes 10 hours a day, and as a result became sub-human. Such was the all consuming desire and passion for it, which seemed perfectly normal to me at the time, but in hindsight was monstrously evil.
A Demon had me in his grasp, had conquered my will and was using me to generate huge amounts of Disgusting filthy energy which it used for various purposes. I was working. But I was working for evil.
At a certain point my conscience which was all but defunct n the depths of literal hell, spiders and demons all around me. I kid you not. For years demons would attach to my body and rape me for as long as I used the pornography.
What you have to understand is that God - Divine Providence is in control. My soul was essentially lost to the Devil, and there seemed no way out. But God gave me a way out, God supported me, preserved me, gave me good experiences in that hell hole but I personally had to resurrect my will, fight the Demon and win my freedom. Jesus couldn't do it for me. It was up to me or perish.
Here is what I did:
I got rid of all technology which allowed me to connect to the internet in the privacy of my own home. Having an internet connection sitting on my desk in the night, was like heroin sitting on the desk of a heroin addict who is trying to quit.
So I would live without the technology for stretches. Then I would get overpowering cravings to buy another device. I would hold out for as long as I could, then succumb by buying a new device. But here is the thing. I did not give up. I got rid of the device and went for another long stretch maybe months at a time until I had the next uncontrollable craving, and it repeated. But I DID NOT GIVE UP!
This process happened over a period of 9 years with the stretches getting longer and longer, until as of now I have been free from pornography for 4 years. I was able to purchase a computer 1 year ago, and my brain has been rewired so I am not interested in pornography anymore, whereas before nothing else mattered. Instead I spend my time studying STEM courses always my first love. I am registered disabled with Schizophrenia, but have acquired 78 certificates from Universities such as Oxford and Cambridge and Corporations such as Microsoft, IBM and Oracle. I am currently studying Neuroscience.
The reason I am writing this and sharing my experience is because pornography in this society has become the elephant in the room and I want to express in no uncertain terms, that it is demonic in all forms These demons use the lustful filth generated as food/energy to carry out Cosmic Evil in the world which is the enslavement of the souls of humanity and the imprisonment of the world.
During my journey of recovery I had to go through a profound and dangerous spiritual quest to restore and purify my soul and be free of an evil I thought was "not hurting anyone".
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