stay or go #feelingunworthy
I've been in a 5 yr relationship now with a pretty good guy, so I thought. Last year I chose to take care of my grandson, his mother has addiction problem and all kinds of mental health issues. During the early months of being a new mom/grandma again, my boyfriend suggested I sleep in the same room as my grandson. Months went by and I was focused on the baby (had him since the beginning), eventually my boyfriend felt neglected. I found out he had started texting a friend from his school, like everyday...throughout the day. I saw a few texts of her asking him when they were gonna meet up and she missed him. I did confront him about the texting, moved into the bedroom with him...because I thought it would solve his me neglecting him. Things went well for a long time. I have noticed him messaging and checking his phone more often again. Turns out he is now having secret conversations on messanger, with nobody apparently. I am torn between staying in this relationship for my grandsons sake (he loves and does so great with helping take care of him) and throwing in the towel. I've spend many days/hours crying and blaming myself for not paying enough attention to my boyfriend since my grandson came into my life. My boyfriend has taken on the roll of grandpa, tells my grandson he loves him every night and plays the full part of being a grandpa. I love my boyfriend very much, yet feel I could leave him in a heartbeat...because of his "second relationship ". He has told me he loves me more than I will ever know, only when I'm away from him for a few days. I feel so ugh about it all...my mental health goes bonkers everytime I see him messaging his nobody person. I honestly don't know what to think or do anymore. I don't want to leave him because he is so wonderful with the granson, however; I feel like I am slowly suffering because of the mysterious messages he sends to his nobody. #ferlinglostandunsure