The Surprising Way I Spend the Days I Wake Up Feeling Decent

This morning I woke up feeling decent. I realize that’s not a big deal for many people, but for me feeling decent upon waking is a wonderful thing. It means my pain is tolerable before I take my morning meds. It means I am able to make coffee without having to take any breaks. It means I may even be able to cook scrambled eggs for breakfast before lunchtime. So what will I do with this wonderful feeling of “decent-ness?”

I’ll rest.

I’ll rest because if I don’t, the decent feeling will evaporate faster than the morning dew. I’ll rest because that will ensure that I can prepare dinner for my family without having to fight back tears caused by the pain in my wrists, hands, back or hips. I’ll rest because maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to stay up later than 9 p.m. and enjoy a movie with my family.

I suppose it may seem more logical to get housework done on my decent days and in all honesty, many decent days do begin with housework. However, those days tend to end very early on, usually with me curled up in bed crying because of the severe pain in my arms and legs. I mopped, or did three loads of laundry, or cleaned the kitchen cabinets and all of that housework soaked up my decent feeling and replaced it with pain and fatigue.

I prefer to do housework on days that my pain is manageable after meds. This way I’m not losing any quality time provided by my decent days. These “mediocre” days I am going to be in pain whether I sit on the couch all day or mop the entire house. Because they are mediocre and not “bad” days, I have the energy I need to push through household chores. I have done laundry with tears in my eyes and swept while those tears roll down my cheeks, but that’s OK. Chances are I’d have those tears even if I was just sitting around and it helps my mental health when I feel productive. Mediocre days are just as important as decent days, although they are not nearly as well enjoyed.

So today, I will enjoy feeling decent. Chores can wait; my well-being can’t.