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To the Woman Who Judged Fellow Fibro Warriors in Group

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To the woman judging others with fibromyalgia:

I understand it can be dreary hearing people share the downsides of fibromyalgia. It is almost exhausting at some points and I can empathize with your frustration. Or perhaps you’re in denial or found something that works for you and you truly believe fibro is a one-size-fits-all. It is not. It affects us all uniquely.


I wish it were so simple as to “pick up our lives and stop complaining and just be positive!” But it’s not. Our pain levels and abilities vary from person to person as well as other symptoms. The other symptoms are even worse than the pain sometimes.

I write this not to belittle you but to try and show you the side where exercise – though yes, proven effective for some – isn’t a feasible option for all of us. I used to run every day until the pain left me crumpled, crying on my treadmill when my legs turned to jelly and gave out and when my spine was ignited like a TNT stick. Despite this? I’m persisting to try and regain some of my old physical abilities.

Many of us are simply trying to find relief and we are not all drug-seekers or looking for pity or handouts. That group serves as a safe place for many of us. We can let loose what we feel we cannot to others living without chronic pain or illness.

I do truly hope your pain remains well managed. I wouldn’t wish the fire in my body on anyone and I will always remain grateful to the group that helped me keep afloat when I wanted to give up swimming and sink.

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Thinkstock photo via KatarzynaBialasiewicz.

Originally published: July 26, 2017
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